Tortall! Tortall! Tortall!
by EspressoGirl
Summary: PG-13 is probably over-rated but meh, mah, and gish. HA HA!! I AM SO GREAT! I AM SO GREAT!! why is it that almost everything i say is either in a chant or a threat? mah, okay, i have no idea what chapter this is, but subtract one from the number below.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: What the hell? You know the *CENSORED* drill!  
  
Me: Well that was rude,  
  
Disclaimer: Why the *CENSORED* WOULD I *CENSORED* GIVE A *CENSORED* *CENSORED*!!!???!?!?!?!?!!?!?  
  
Me:*blinks*.anyways, to the story!  
  
I'm really bored and I have no life, oh and I hate school so I figured I write this, no guarantees that it'll be a *CENSORED* masterpiece but what the hell eh? Shut up, not all Canadians say "eh" but you have to admit it sounds a lot more intelligible than "huh," don't you agree? Anyways, this story'll be about what you want and I will take ten people and write about our adventures in TAMORA PIERCE'S Tortall, k? happy? No? WELL WHY THE *CENSORED* NOT?!?!!? AND NO MORE THAN TEN PEOPLE BECAUSE IF THERE ARE TOO MANY IT'S CONFUSING!! Oh, and first come first serve!!  
  
*Grumbles* anyways, my own bio since yes, I am going to annoy your presence in this particular story so HA!! YOU CANNOT ESCAPE ME!! *laughs maniacally then begins to choke*  
  
Disclaimer: THIS ISNT EVEN MY *CENSORED* IDEA!! WHY THE *CENSORED* ARE YOU STILL *CENSORED* HERE YOU SON OF A *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED*?!?!?!?!  
  
Name: Kao (no, not my real name I know but, meh, I like this one)  
  
Age: 14  
  
Personality Description: often referred to as "nuts" or "crazy" I have a reputation for being ill tempered and violent. I bite people when I have the chance, often sarcastic, a pyro, schizo, klepto, and a lot of other things, but who's counting right? Hehe *giggles insanely*. Uhhh, that's all I can think of right now.oh and forgetful, and I know karate! Hi YA!!!!! .note to self: you are NOT a black belt, you cannot kick everybody's and anybody's ass, you are NOT stronger than your average vampire. I have waaaaaay too much pride..I also swear and curse, a lot, I don't just say, "How are you?" I say "Why the fuck are you here?" I like rain and thunder and lightning storms, I like forests, I could go on but I won't because I'm probably wasting your time and now on your hit list. Yes, yes I do occansionally hear voices but- what did you say? No, no I didn't light the school on fire yet! *trails off* Jasper is one of 'em, so's is Loir, and Alexander..then the dominating personality.me.I don't have a short..a..tt.ent..io.HEY A BIRD!!  
  
Physical Description: slightly over-muscular, approximately 5'2, long blonde hair which has blue streaks (dyed of course for those a tad slow), blue eyes that always change, basically white skin since I rarely go outside. I'm not a people person.  
  
And so the story will hopefully begin, and if you review then it would go quicker and I'll make a sad attempt to keep up to date on this one, you know, just for you.  
  
Voice in backround: awwwwwww!!!!!!!  
  
Me: SHUT UP JASPER!!  
  
Jasper: *angry grumbles and grunts* 


	2. The Lake

Disclaimer: yeah, I know, as deeply depressing it is for me to admit, TAMORA PIERCE owns her own.things..characters.ummmm, THE FOLLOWING BELONGS TO TAMORA PIERCE!! .well, most of it..ummm, er.YOU GET THE POINT!!  
  
  
  
The following people have subscribed to be in my story!!!!!!  
  
Raen Lee  
  
Angel Of The Storms  
  
Keita  
  
Cami of Queenscove (mind if I just say 'Cami'? it's easier on the fingers.or Stacey.what happened to having ONE name.)  
  
Chopstix  
  
And of course, myself, and I may be a hypocrite because I have a thousand names too, don't worry Cami.my names are as follows; Kathryn, Kao, That Crazy Girl Running Up and Down the Street.oh, and EspressoGirl, um.yeeeeah. and if you have friends that really want to join when I already have ten people(not including myself) I'll attempt to fit 'em in BEFORE the chapter that already has us leaving. Yeeeeeeah..STORY TIME!!  
  
  
  
As the girls fidgeted nervously walking through a dark forest at nearly 11:55, the full blue moon blazed brightly overhead, making the setting slightly eerie causing dark shadows to appear to be moving. "Are we THERE yet? My feet hurt!!" Chopstix complained.  
  
"NO! Now quit your whinin'! You're making my ears hurt!" Cami whispered angrily back.  
  
"Will you two shut up!! You'll blow our cover and might make our guide lose concentration!!!" Keita snapped back at the two complaining girls.  
  
"WILL YOU SHUT UP!!!" The guide yelled out making the ground beneath them rumble slightly. The Guide was a goddess that had been trapped by the girls to take them to Tortall. In fact, that's what they were doing, going on there way to a "portal" that would hopefully take them there.  
  
The girls instantly quieted down and followed the goddess reluctantly to wherever the hell she was leading them. Suddenly the goddess halted and just pointed to a clearing beyond a few trees. The girls inched forward with ambition to see what it was that would finally take them to Tortall. When they looked over at the goddess she wasn't there.  
  
"SHIT!! Where the hell did she go! I kill 'er! Where'd the little bi-"Kao burst when she noticed the goddess wasn't there anymore.  
  
"Oh shut up!! We're supposed to go IN the lake!!" Angel of the Storms yelled back, pointing to it.  
  
"How do you know that?" Chopstix asked skeptically.  
  
"Well, it.um, ah.. It's common sense thank you very much!" Keita replied with a slight stammer.  
  
Chopstix and Angel of the Storms rolled their eyes and turned to Raen Lee who, hopefully, could share some council with them on what to do.  
  
"What? Don't look at me; I don't know what to do. But I think that Keita may be right, about the going in the lake thing. I mean, think about it, it looks silvery and enchanted does it not? Just looking at it makes you think that you're in a fairy tale, before something that is greater than any of us." Raen Lee said staring dreamily at the lake. The clock on Rean Lee's wrist changed to 12:00 exactly then began to swerve wildly not stopping anywhere. The girls walked closer to the lake barely noticing the sudden roar of water opening before them, like a mother embracing her children. The girls walked into the embrace as the water fell down on them with impossible force. The girls didn't seem to surface either. The lake calmed with what sounded like a sigh and settled for the next full blue moon when the portal would open once again...  
  
Good????? R/R!! That little blue button isn't for decoration people!! Still taking FIVE more people! And sorry Raen Lee, hope you don't mind I had you say that little speech about the lake.I'm a bit of a romantic sometimes (major understatement.) and I did the bold on the names when they weren't being spoken purely because it's easier to know who is talking when. REVIEW!!!! Oh, and write in a review what you want to be in my story, i.e.; knight, Shang, Lady, etc., etc., etc. and your age, it might help, or if you don't, I'll just guess.hehehehe *evil laughter* 


	3. The Other Side

YEAHHHHHHHHHHH!! REVEIWS!! *dances around happily mumbling about reviews and how much people love her.* .sorry about that, this is my first POSTED story, although a new story will come out call 'Kiro' in the Fearless section, if I do say so myself it is quite good! But who am I to say? You'll have to read it and tell me what you think when it's up, (hint hint) anyways, NEXT CHAP!!  
  
Oh, and I almost forgot this time. DISCLAIMER!!: I own nothing, nadda, zilch, zero! I had to break into a hardware store to use this!! I live under a bridge and threaten to eat the people who cross! Yeah, I'm eating you, you bastard Billy Goat Small, I don' wanna wait! KAO HUNGRY!! *spits out bone* yeah, you get the point, hopefully, because if you don't then I'll just have to eat your flesh and use your bones as hitting utensils.  
  
Yeah, and still excepting maybe two (or more) people. FIRST COME FIRST SERVE!!! Yeah, I know, I said ten people not including me, but I'm in a good mood considering no one is badgering me about homework.  
  
As Cami, Rean Lee, Angel of the Storms, Chopstix, Keita and Kao were hiking towards the lake, another clan of girls were making their way to the same lake at the same time at separate ends of the lake. The goddess also was guiding them.  
  
"Do you people really think this is going to work? You all need serious mental help! We are following a goddess to a supposedly enchanted lake!! It sounds like fiction if you ask me!" One of the girls exploded after having walked for more than three hours, a girl kept close to her and whispered in her ear grinning wildly. Whatever it had bee that the muse had said, it cheered Dyana up considerably, she had to suppress a giggle itching to escape her lips.  
  
"What are you laughing at psycho? At least I don't hear voi- wait, what was that? No we aren't there yet!" another girl, Taigan, said drifting of seeming to have heard something no one else noticed. "THIS IS BORING!!!" another girl yelled dramatically to no one in particular.  
  
"O.kay, can anybody say PSYCHO!!" Reaper yelled waving her arms frantically as if to emphasize her point.  
  
"WILL YOU SHUT UP!!!" the goddess suddenly yelled at them, or so they thought now knowing that the same thing had happened on the other side of the lake, the West side. Perhaps she had been yelling at both of them, she looked just about as agitated to be listening to twice as many excited teenagers. The girls mumbled angrily at the nerve of their guide to yell at them so but let it be and continued in silence. In total, the people in this small group were no more than 6 to 8 hyper adolescents.  
  
Soon they also reached the lake, and the goddess suddenly disappeared, much to the girls' annoyance. From across the lake the heard a faint voice suddenly yelled angrily, "SHIT!!" there was more but the rest was inaudible. They walked toward the lake dreamily just as the lake opened up in its same loving embrace. With a swish they all disappeared under the water.bringing us toooooo, the NEXT CHAPTER IN WHICH YOU WILL HAVE TO WAIT FOR!!!  
  
AH HA HA HA!! I am a cruel person aren't I? Well, don't fret or hate me, I'm just hoping to buy some time for when the rest of the people who would be interested in joining a chance to join. Aghhhh! REVIEW!!!!! The quicker you review, the quicker I'll try an update. Ohh my friends extortion, blackmail, and entrapment. 


	4. Limbo, no NOT Bimbo!

Disclaimer: Why must you bother me so? What have I done to give you the misconception that I actually OWN something! Please tell me!! PLEASE!! I beg of you! TELL ME WHY!!  
  
Me: uhhh, no more sniffing pixie stix fer you! *reaches to take pixie stix that the Disclaimer is using as some kind of scepter.*  
  
Disclaimer: *snarls and hugs the pixie stix closer*  
  
Me: I'll fight you for it!! GIVE ME THE DAMN PIXIE SITX!!  
  
Disclaimer: *snarls louder*  
  
Me: THAT'S IT!!! HEAD CRUSHING TIME!! *body checks Disclaimer knocking both of them to the ground* *suddenly someone yells "THE CHAIR!!" and a fold-up chair comes out from nowhere. Disclaimer takes chair and whacks me on the head with it and stands over me tauntingly when I (cleverly) foot sweep the disclaimer making it fall on it's ass, I take the pixie stix and run away cackling insanely*  
  
The following have been recruited to the nav- heh, *nervous laughter* IIIIII mean this story, heh, yeah.."story".. *laughs nervously looking left to right*  
  
Eve Eastborne  
  
Katey  
  
.I thought there were more.what the hell? ..Mah, still excepting!!! And I don't know what dreadlocks are.. My eyes are burning!! I have a cold and right now it feels like I have some kind of red-hot poker up my nostrils and in my eyes...and I guarantee you now, that I have a creative mind that will probably come to use during gory scenes...did I forget to mention that? I must have because not nearly half of you would have signed up had you known just exactly HOW morbid I really am!!!! *evil, insane laughter*  
  
  
  
The girls (both groups) somehow ended up together in the same place. Mist rose up eerily making the scene look particularly creepy. They appeared to have ended up in some kind of strange Limbo land or something. It was dark and misty making the world seem oblivious to whatever went on beyond this darkness. There were scattered "What the Hell!"s and other unintelligible curses.  
  
"SHUT UP!!" said a voice that could only be described as the goddess's booming temper when it came to these girls.  
  
"I am oh so happy to see you too your highness. It's all our fault we're stuck in Limbo." Raen Lee said to the goddess sarcasm rich in the air, bowing deeply.  
  
"Well, technically it is our fault we're stu-" Reaper pointed out.  
  
"Bimbo? Who's a bimbo? DID YOU JUST CALL ME A BIMBO?!?!?! It's ass- whoopin' ti-" Angel of the Storms roared angrily.  
  
"I SAID LIMBO YOU IDIOT!!" Rean Lee snapped back.  
  
"Oh...shut up! Common mistake common mistake...right Kao?" Angel of the Storms replied awkwardly turning to Kao who seemed to have disappeared under the mist.  
  
"Huh? Yeah, heh, sure, whatever you say..." Kao said popping out of the mist in front of Keita, causing her to jump, then going back under before Keita could hit her.  
  
"See?" Angel of the Storms replied hastily.  
  
"That's coming from Kao think about what she normally says.." Cami retorted.  
  
"HEY SHUT- ahh true enough, true enough.." Kao said momentarily raising from behind Cami and poking her square in the back causing Cami to fall forward slightly. Kao dodged a punch that Cami threw at her face and hid under the mist again to avoid further beating.  
  
"Kathryn, cut it out, you look like an idiot, then again.." Another girl said who had bright red hair annoyance thick in her voice.  
  
"MY NAME IS KAO!! FEAR MY WRATH PUNY MORTAL!!!" Kao, presently known as 'Kathryn' bellowed making the goddess look weak. Katey retaliated by punching Kao in the mouth and rolling her eyes.  
  
"Ow, damnit Katey that hurt!!!" Kao whined clutching her nose.  
  
"AND YOUR BREATH HURT MY EYES!! I'M SURPRISED THEY DIDN'T CORRODE BECAUSE OF THE SMELL!!" Katey screamed walking away.  
  
"Oh, come on Katey! I didn't mean it!! Ah come back Katey!!" Kao said running after Katey.  
  
"Riiiiight, getting back to the topic of getting out of here without Kao..." Eve said trailing off to muffled grunts and mumbles.  
  
"Dear god what have I done? I have taken the liberty of getting heroes to save Tortall and I'm stuck with these idiots!!" The goddess yelled clutching her head, "I feel a headache coming on." "Oh, really? Here." Cami said touching the goddess' head with her fingers gently and suddenly there was a bright yellow flash of light. "What the hell?" The goddess asked looking around confusedly. "Is your headache better?" Cami asked sympathy in her voice. (A/N aren't you happy? YOU have the healing Gift!! Very strong.) "It's entirely gone..." the goddess said looking at Cami with new light. "Well, I must say I AM known for having the magical touch." Cami said getting slightly cocky. "Well, not that I want to intrude on this love fest but, Eve has seemed to have gone somewhere.." Angel of the storms said drifting off slightly looking around. "I could have sworn, she was right behind me.." Keita said also looking around. "BOO!!!" Yelled a voice making everyone jump. Uncontrollable laughter was then was heard radiating through Limbo, NOT Bimbo. "Oh my, don't tell me one of you ruffians can turn invisible!!! I've never even heard of that!!" the goddess complained. "Oh shut up you whiny idiot!!" Taigan said putting her hands on her hips and cocking her head. Suddenly Eve was visible and laughing so hard tears were rolling down her cheeks.  
  
  
  
I know I'm skimping on the chapters but first you have to tell me what it is exactly you WANT!!  
  
Fill out what you want people!! Gift, no Gift, what colour, Shang, Knight, Lady, Mage, etc., etc., etc.... Oh, and if you don't tell me I'll make something up, *evil laughter* you never know, I might just make you a sacrifice to the centaurs, you know what that means..  
  
Raen Lee (status?)(Gift? Colour?)  
  
Angel Of The Storms; Shang (Gift? Colour?)  
  
Keita (status?)(Gift? Colour?)  
  
Cami of Queenscove; Knight; yellow Gift (if you want I can change it for you.)  
  
Dyana; mage/author (Colour?)  
  
Taigan; Lady; purple Gift  
  
Eve Eastborne; spy; (Gift? Colour?)  
  
Katey (status?) (Gift? Colour?) If you want you can tell me at school, I honestly don't care.. 


	5. Journeying

Raen Lee: KNIGHT!!! NO GIFT!!  
  
Cami of Queenscove: Knight; YELLOW GIFT!!  
  
Dyana: mage/author Light Blue Gift, and apparently her muse is surrounded by a white haze and she has muse magic..mah, I've said weirder things in my day.And raining fire and brimstones on enemies!  
  
Keita: You will be a MAGE!!! RED GIFT!! WAR MAGE!! Or if you prefer a LADY!! But still red gift.I like red..I don't know why.  
  
Taigan: Lady; purple Gift  
  
Eve Eastborne: spy; invisibility  
  
Brekke: SPY; GREEN GIFT!!  
  
  
  
Katey: SHANG!! NO GIFT!!  
  
Kathryn/Kao: Shang; no gift.  
  
Angel Of The Storms: Shang BLUE GIFT!!!  
  
Reaper: hmmm, I wanna be creative with you.I'm gonna make something up.gimmie a sec.usually I'm pretty morbid and I can't think of anything where you aren't mutated or where you don't mutate people, or if that's what you want.a crap, I can't think.you have the ability to..oh you have wild magic!!  
  
Chopstix: you have wild magic too! You see?!!? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T TELL ME THINGS!! I GET CONFUSED!!!  
  
  
  
Soooo that equals.. TWO SPYS!! THREE SHANGS!! ONE LADY!! TWO MAGES!! TWO KNIGHTS!! TWO WILD MAGIC PEOPLE!! HA!! you wouldn't answer so I MADE THEM UP!! If you no like than I no like you. You can read it, whatever floats your boat, rocks your rocker, and whatever other annoying thingy you can think of..hey, this works out PERFECTLY!! TWELVE PEOPLE!! Well, including me..meh, ON TO THE STORY!!!! I'll add special features that you like along the way if you like.I like even numbers.I don't know why.  
  
  
  
"Oh, gods, I need an Advil, I'm sending you to Tortall to fight and conquer the forces of evil, blah, blah, blah, good bye." With that the goddess disappeared and the herd of girls found themselves on a grassy knoll overlooking a rich looking town with a large magnificent castle.  
  
"OOOOh, I'm liking this already!!" Brekke yelled overly enthusiastically throwing a fist in the air and charging down the knoll to a clear crystal-like lake.  
  
"HEY!! Look what we're wearing!" Taigan squealed joyfully looking down at a beautiful forest green dress with a matching cape over her slender shoulders, "And I have POCKETS!!!!"  
  
".and you don't usually?" Dyana asked giving Taigan a suspicious eye. Dyana was wearing a long black cloak that covered her almost completely, she also wore boots and had a bow and quiver slung over her shoulders.  
  
"Don't usually what?" Taigan replied still in awe over her dress.  
  
"Have pockets." Dyana pressed.  
  
"HAH! No, who does anyways?" Taigan retorted.  
  
"Oooookay.easily amused girl in isle 7." Kao said walking away down the hill, she was wearing a tunic and a cape with hood, she also was wearing the hood, it was black, and everything she was wearing was black, creepy.  
  
"Isle 7? HAH!! SAYS YOU!! OOOOOHH BURN!!" Taigan yelled back pointing.  
  
"HEY!! Look over there!!" Katey yelled then ran away down the hill her dark blue cape trailing behind her.  
  
"I have a knife in ma boot." Kao said suddenly.  
  
"What?! Who gave her a knife?" Brekke yelled angrily, she was also wearing black, a tunic and breeches to be specific.  
  
"You have one too." Cami indicated pointing to Brekke's boot where a knife hilt was seen.  
  
"But hers is hidden!!!"  
  
"She also is a Shang, she HAS reflexes."  
  
"SHUT UP!!"  
  
A/N I don't feel like going through everyone so everyone is wearing a cape any colour you wish and Knights are wearing tunics and breeches, Shangs are wearing breeches and a shirt, Ladies (or more so "LadY") is wearing a dress, and Spies are wearing light clothes that are easy to move in quickly and silently.  
  
And so our heroes retreated down the hill and into a dark forest where they encountered stuff, things, and animals.yeeeeeeah. and THAT brings us to when..  
  
"Hey, whassat?" Rean Lee asked pointing to a shadow moving through the trees.  
  
"Hello there!! Would it not be easier to walk on the SIDEWALK!! Way to be smart no smart!! AH HA HA HA!!" Angel of the Storms yelled laughing ecstatically.  
  
"I am lost and would like to know where an inn is! Could you give me directions please?"  
  
"Hey, sorry bud, but we're knew to the town and we're just going straight 'cause we saw a castle straight ahead." Reaper replied shrugging.  
  
"Oh, well would one of you fine lads mind if I talked to you?" The shadow asked.  
  
"Oh, of course!" Rean Lee replied sweetly waltzing towards the man and into a sliver of light. The rest of the girls snickered at the man's stupidity, narrow-minded, sexist bastard!! Kao almost yelled this but Katey throw a hand over her mouth before anything came out.  
  
The man walked into the light, he must have been at least 7'3. "HOLY SHIT!!" Keita yelled when she saw how tall he was. She basically gawked at him while he stood there.  
  
The man gave a disgruntled grunt and what looked like a bit of a smile, not much of his face was seen though since of course his hood was pulled over his face. "HO THERE!! How many exactly are in there may I ask? Twenty?"  
  
"Actually twe-" Taigan began before Cami elbowed her in the ribs and interrupted.  
  
"There are seven of us sir." Cami said.  
  
"Seven?" Taigan mouthed questionably.  
  
"YES!! Katey, Kao, Angel of the Storms, Eve, and Brekke didn't trust him so they're surrounding the area!" Cami mouthed back still in the darkness and out of the man's sight.  
  
"Seven? It sounded like more, oh well. Mind stepping into the light for me?" The man asked.  
  
"Of course not sir." Taigan replied curtsying deeply to him.  
  
The man grinned and said to the girls he thought were boys, "You let your woman speak for you?"  
  
"Why yes, of course we do, where we're from women rule and men are our selves." Taigan replied sarcastically a sharp edge to her voice, she glared at the man angrily. The man only laughed.  
  
"Well, you're quite the frisky one aren't you?"  
  
"No, I just don't like sexist bastards."  
  
"Ooooh, THAT was a burn." Reaper commented whistling her appreciation.  
  
"Shut up slave!" Taigan snapped.  
  
"Yes ma'am." Reaper replied quickly playing along with the women rule game.  
  
"Hm, must be a strange town." The stranger said.  
  
"Actually it's a whole different dime-" Taigan began.  
  
"She means Dime..ole.ri..ca.." Cami interrupted again.  
  
"That's the name of our Fief." Dyana piped in.  
  
"YEAH!! FIEF." Keita yelled suddenly seeing that someone that looked like one of the spies or Shangs were about to step on a twig.  
  
The stranger winced and looked at Cami questionably.  
  
"She has ADD." Cami replied attempting to look sympathetic for her friend's motives.  
  
"ADD? What's that?" the stranger asked looking at Keita as though she had some kind of disease.  
  
"No, I don't, I'm s-s-s-special, yeah, SPECIAL!!" Keita said playing along and ticking her head to the right.  
  
"I supposed you could say she acts a bit.childish at times." Cami said looking at Keita who started foaming at the mouth.  
  
The stranger openly showed his disgust and said, "So there is a town that way?" he asked pointing to the way they came, "Oh well then I'll go there, bye now, it was a pleasure." The man basically ran away before any of the girls could say anything.  
  
"HEY!!" Keita yelled at his back sending foam flying out of her mouth, a blob of foam/spit landed on Dyana and she wiped it away with the edge of her cloak a look of great disgust on her face.  
  
"That is disgusting." Angel of the Storms said coming out from the shadows.  
  
"What?" Keita asked innocently the ground around her covered with foam. "Oh, well if one of you idiots hadn't stepped on the twig!! You people need spy lessons!!" She yelled noticing what they were talking about and cleaning up her foam by spitting in out and wiping her mouth on a handkerchief she found in a pocket.  
  
"Oh, yeah, sorry about that," Brekke said sheepishly coming out of her hiding spot.  
  
"BOO!" a voice boomed suddenly from the center of their little group making everyone jump. Eve appeared in the middle of the circle laughing hysterically.  
  
"Second time I've fallen for that!" Katey yelled stomping her foot.  
  
"Yeah well, people like you are scared easily." Kao said jumping out of a tree she found.  
  
"People like me?!?! You basically squeaked!! THAT'S RIGHT!! I HEARD YOU!!" Katey accused.  
  
"NO YOU DIDN'T, NO YOU DIDN'T!!" Kao yelled back.  
  
  
  
  
  
I think that's good for now, is it?!?!!? Please say yes because I'm not on a creative run right now and I have to leave because I need to think.. 


	6. AN concerning my lack of writing, SORRY!

Hi, it's me and no I'm not dead I'm just in the middle of a slight crisis concerning the fact that my sister can't seem to mind her own business and keep her eyes to herself, she read ALL of my stories! At least, I think she read them, she told me she read them but I'm not sure if she read 'em all or just some.anyways, now they're all on disks (three disks may I add) and I have very limited time to write, I apologize but there's nothing I can do. Oh, and homework is a bitch. I'm REALLY REALLY SORRY PEOPLE!! 


	7. The Riders

That's it.oh and Cami's gift is now emerald green due to request and Brekke's is.I'm thinking maroon but I don't think you'll like that very much, you'll know once you see the name of a colour beside your name... No more requests, they no fun.gah  
  
DISCLAIMER: I realize I've been forgetting these and they're as annoying as hell to do all the time so for now and any future reference I have to TAMORA PIERCE'S Tortall or characters, I don't own, you know I don't own anything so why do you lie to yourselves?!?!?  
  
Yeah so to the story, AND WE'LL GET TO THE CASTLE!! HAVE PATIENCE!! I NEED TO THINK!! Alright I must be brief on this but I'll make it as long as I can considering the major time limit I have to write this, I'm going to karate in about two hours and someone is bound to come barging into the house in about ten minutes, I'm a pretty fast typer and I think I know where I'm going with this so I'll write as much as I can and make this as long as I can!  
  
  
  
The gang of girls continued their trek to the castle when Reaper yelled for them to jump into the bushes.  
  
"What the hell? Reaper, were you been eating those mushrooms we found back there?" Keita asked as though she were speaking to a small child.  
  
"No, shut up, I was talking to that squirrel when suddenly it just started chattering and making no sense, he said something about something about a lot of horses and people with swords."  
  
"Hey, it might be Knights!!" Rean Lee said enthusiastically.  
  
"Yeah! And maybe Neal too!" Cami squealed happily. Keita rolled her eyes and dodged a swipe that Cami threw at her barely getting away.  
  
"You people bug me." Kao commented.  
  
"Shut up!" Cami and Keita yelled in symphony.  
  
"ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!!" Reaper yelled in a hushed whisper.  
  
"HEY! I can become invisible an check to see who it is!" Eve volunteered gleefully. Brekke mumbled about haw she wanted to be invisible and Eve popped out of visibility with the snap of her fingers, probably just for fun though. Brekke rolled her eyes and sat down with her back against a large oak tree.  
  
"I'm bored, are we there yet?" Keita whined impatiently.  
  
"No, but I think we almost are." Brekke commented.  
  
"Why do you say that?" Chopstix asked skeptically.  
  
"I don't know, I just do." Brekke said without really arguing.  
  
"I think you have the Sight!!" Taigan said excitedly.  
  
"Do you have to be looking into a fire?" Angel of the Storms argued.  
  
"I don't see why you should HAVE to." Taigan replied.  
  
"Shut up, if you don't then it won't matter if Eve finds out who is over there if we're just found out anyways because you idiots felt like yapping!" Raen Lee said raising her voice slightly above a whisper. After that the girls quieted down some and talked less.  
  
"BOO!" a voice yelled suddenly hardly making the girls hardly jump at all considering the joke had been done many times.  
  
"Eve, it's just not funny anymore, now become visible." Katey said rolling her eyes.  
  
"Hey shut up, you all suck!" Eve said her body reappearing her face exasperated.  
  
"So who was it?" Reaper asked excitedly.  
  
"Oh, it was who we want, Alanna, Kel, Owen, Neal-" before Eve could finish Cami and Keita were running out of the bushes and throwing themselves in front of the horses scaring the shit out of the horses. Once the horses were under control, Alanna demanded, "Who are these fools? Why did you run in front of our horses? Are you mad? You could have been TRAMPLED!"  
  
"Heh, sorry about that, they're just a little enthusiastic at times." Angel of the Storms explained pulling Keita and Cami back by the collar of their tunics.  
  
"Hey, come on, take it easy on them, they only look to be young lads and lasses." A man said with a large grin.  
  
"Hey, shut up Raoul," Alanna snapped back, Raoul only laughed and turned his attention back to the girls. "So what are you doin' out here at this time without someone to properly protect the Lady,"  
  
"Who said she was the only girl?" Kao demanded, she almost continued about how men were all sexist bastards who deserved to burn in hell, when Katey slapped a hand over her mouth and basically dragged her away from the group and deposited her beside a tree about 10 feet away then told her to shut up and stay there.  
  
"Well, she's right you know," Alanna pointed out to Raoul disappointedly.  
  
"YEAH!! I HAVE A POINT! HEY!! Hitting's mean!!" Kao yelled over then turning her attention back to Katey who punched her in the arm.  
  
Raoul only laughed then said, "So where are you headed?"  
  
"The castle sir," Taigan replied curtsying deeply.  
  
"Now why, may I ask, and we are expected to ask theses questions, we are a part of the castle's guard." Alanna asked.  
  
"Well, you see, I am to train as a Lady, the idiot you see beside me," Taigan began indicating to Chopstix who was throwing rocks then laughing and picking it up again and throwing it then laughing, "is named Chopstix, she has Wild Magic, as does Reaper, that's the one with the pendent of a snake around a sword-"  
  
"Everybody's doin' a brand new dance now! Come on baby, do the locomotion!" Dyana suddenly said bursting into song and bobbing her head.  
  
"HEY!! Where'd that come from?" Chopstix yelled pointing to the portable Discman.  
  
"Up yo hairy ass!" Keita yelled pointing rudely.  
  
"Don't make me do something that you'll regret later." Chopstix threatened.  
  
"Yo shut up biatch!" Keita yelled turning to run away only to be body checked by Chopstix then punched once before Reaper dragged her away from Keita. After that Keita walked away to sit beside Kao who was brandishing a small dagger from inside her boot and glaring at Raoul, Raoul looked over nervously feeling her eyes on him and laughed sheepishly, then seeing to reaction lead his horse to the other side of Alanna.  
  
Dyana rolled her eyes and said, "The one who's glaring at you is Kao who may I add needs serious metal help, she's going to be a Shang and so is Angel of the Storms and Katey."  
  
"I'M RIGHT HERE!!!" Kao yelled angrily.  
  
"Yes we know dear we just don't care." Katey said talking as though she were to a small child. Kao retaliated by throwing the knife at her merely missing her by a couple inches landing in a tree about five inches deep. "Didn't I tell you not to throw things?!" Katey asked almost yelling yanking the knife out of the tree and sliding it back to Kao. Kao only grumbled and wiped the fingerprints off the blade.  
  
"O..kay, anyways, please, continue on with the introductions, I'd like to know who the Pages will be." Alanna pressed.  
  
"Oh, well, I'm going to be and Rean Lee." Cami said pointing to herself then Raen Lee who gave a slight wave and a large smile then took Reaper's rock and whipped at a tree because it was getting annoying.  
  
"Brekke and Eve are going to be Spies, Eve can become invisible and she's oh so persistent to try and scare us," Chopstix said pointing to Brekke then Eve.  
  
"I'm a war Mage! And Dyana is a mage too, she's the one seemingly talking to herself, I'm not sure what kind of mage though." Keita said.  
  
"Yeah, and Reaper's annoying." Chopstix commented with a fake large smile then picking up a pebble then throwing it at Reaper who was still throwing rocks and laughing.  
  
"OW!! Chopstix! You stupid bum!" Reaper yelled idling her shoulder then picking up another rock. "Are they done yet?" Raoul asked Alanna stifling a yawn.  
  
"Huminah? Oh, yes well that's very interesting girls, would you like us to be your chauffeur to the castle?" Alanna asked jerking suddenly when Raoul had spoken, she'd fallen asleep somewhere when Eve had been introduced.  
  
"YAYY!! We get to ride with Alanna the Lioness!" Dyana yelled happily clapping her hands. The girls rode with the soldiers on the back of their horses and asked and obscene amount of questions.  
  
"Why did you do that?!?!" Raoul asked Alanna so that the sleeping Reaper couldn't hear him.  
  
"I don't know!! I fell asleep! I had to think fast! I'm sorry but at least you didn't get stuck with her!" Alanna just above a whisper pointing to Kao who rode behind her, backwards, almost falling off the horse, saying "Ow," every time the horse stepped. Raoul hid a grin then burst out laughing when Kao finally fell off the horse then jumped back on, backwards, almost falling off the horse, saying "Ow," every time the horse stepped.  
  
  
  
A/N alright, I'm not going to stop here a) because I think I still may have some time left and b) I've made you wait for an ungodly amount of time for this. So, I'll continue!!  
  
  
  
"STOP! In the name of love! Before you break my heart! I said STOP! In the name of love! ..before you break my heart!! I said STOP!!" Kao sang not knowing the words so repeating the ones she did know over and over again pausing slightly between each round.  
  
"SOMEONE SHUT HER UP ALREADY!!" Cami yelled getting annoyed.  
  
"Hey, rider dude, ride up to her for a second," Katey said indicating to the backwards riding Kao who was happily singing oblivious to the groans and complaints of her companions. The person riding with Katey rode up towards Alumna's horse and Katey smacked Kao in the back of the head almost making her fall off the horse and stop singing for a while much everybody's relief, she almost started again but Katey had the rider stay beside them so she couldn't.  
  
"You people SUCK!" Kao pouted being quiet other than the occasional "Ow," from the horse going over a bump.  
  
"You stay with her and keep her quiet, she's annoying as hell," Alanna said pointing to Kao who fell off the horse.  
  
"Hey, I'm not staying with that psycho the whole time!" Katey almost yelled throwing her hands in front of herself in defense.  
  
"Hey, you want to trade?" Alanna asked a rider who had the sleeping Keita behind him.  
  
"Hell no, do you honestly think that I'd trade that psycho for a quiet sleeping girl?" the rider asked in confusion.  
  
"Yes," Alanna said threateningly.  
  
"Then you were right, please just don't hurt me!" the rider said in a high voice. So Kao switched with Keita and went on the horse right ways this time and sang directly into the rider's ear.  
  
"MACHO MAN!! I GOT TO BE!! A MACHO MAN!!" Kao sang happily receiving a hard kick in the knee from Katey. Kao stopped and seemingly fell asleep after about an hour.  
  
"Wow, that's weird, I didn't think she'd ever sleep, I swear, that girl does not shut up." Brekke laughed.  
  
"Is she drooling? I think she's drooling! I CAN FEEL IT SEEPING THROUGH MY TUNIC!!!" the rider asked panicking.  
  
"No, I believe that's the spidren directly above us," Kao whispered softly in the rider's ear then suddenly whipping out a dagger and throwing it upwards. A spidren fell out of the trees and landing in front of Alumna's horse with a plop squirming angrily, Kao's dagger dug into one of it's thighs.  
  
"THERE'S MORE!! And that one's not dead yet!" Brekke yelled.  
  
"Hey, my aim is horrible alright? I'm surprised I hit the thing at all considering the fact that it's above me!!" Kao yelled jumping off the horse and standing in a ready stance looking up.  
  
"It's true, the fact that the knife she threw at me didn't hit me when I was two feet away was just sad." Katey said also jumping off her horse.  
  
"What are you doing? You get on these horses and get to the castle you idiots!" Alanna yelled getting off the horse herself and unsheathing her sword.  
  
"Hey, I'm not going anywhere stupid!" Chopstix said also dismounting her horse. Soon everybody had dismounted their horses all looking up expectantly for the spidrens that would come crawling down in any second.  
  
"Hey! Where did Eve go?" Raen Lee asked suddenly looking around for Eve.  
  
"I'm invisible. I'm right beside you so don't worry, it's just so that we have an advantage over them, it's an 'I see you but you don't see me' type of thing." A voice said from directly beside Raen Lee. With that approximately forty spidrens climbed done from the trees in a large army.  
  
"Stay alert! Don't let them catch you with their webs!" Alanna yelled dodging a web that had been aimed for her by a grinning spidren coming towards her. (A/N I gotta go soon! But just so I don't leave you in suspense I'll continue until I've finished the fighting scene then I'll try and get some more done later!) Alanna sliced right and left with her sword cutting the spidren in many places but causing no real damage, then when it attacked she cut it in two then spun around to block and attack from another spidren coming from behind her. She looked around her for a millisecond and saw Keita wielding a large ball of crimson red flames then throwing it at a spidren who, when was hit with the large fireball, flew backwards into a tree screaming in agony then slowing down and laying motionless.  
  
Another spidren was angrily looking for an invisible opponent and reeling backwards suddenly and a hole opening in its chest, it looked down at the hole disbelievingly and fell.  
  
Reaper had changed to the form of a large wolverine and was ripping limbs off various spidrens, Chopstix had a small army of birds and other small animals charging at the spidrens and getting into their eyes while she whacked them with a large log of wood she'd found.  
  
Read Lee had gotten a sword from a fallen rider and was slicing back and forth with surprising strength. Cami had the bow and arrow and was pulling the elastic behind her ear and piercing a spidren in the chest and nailing him into a tree, she quickly had another arrow in the bow.  
  
Dyana had a slight haze around her and had a large sized dagger quickly hitting, every slice she made seemed to make and effect and there was a slight white haze beside her as though giving her strength.  
  
Taigan had her dress tied in a knot and was punching at did whatever got the job done, she even bit a spidren that got close enough. Kao and Katey were kicking a spidren that was on the ground and they both got their small throwing knives and stabbed it. Angel of the Storms was twirling back and forth with ease and kicking and punching the hell out of a spidren obviously causing some damage. Brekke had climbed a tree and was shooting arrows at random spidrens.  
  
Soon the long battle was over and Alanna counted their numbers, they'd lost three riders during the fight. At least I don't have to share my saddle anymore, she thought without humour.  
  
"We must get back to the castle and warn the king of the spidrens, you fought well but now we must get back, I congratulate you on your bravery and fortitude." Alanna announced grimly then everyone almost cheered but stopped themselves when they saw the bodies of the three dead riders.  
  
"Are we going to bury them? We have to do something other than leave them here for the maggots, they also fought well and shouldn't be disregarded." Cami said thoughtfully looking down at them.  
  
"We will bury them but they have to be shallow graves, we don't have much time to get away, there may be more spidrens." Alanna announced. The companions made the graves and said a small prayer for them and left.  
  
  
  
Okay people, there it is!! It's better than the other chapters, lengthwise at least, ohh it'll get funny, reallllly funny. Once we get to the castle!! Hehehe, JUST WAIT!! I HAVE PLANS!! 


	8. THE CASTLE AT LAST!

The company made the shallow graves for the fallen riders and took off for the castle, the walked in silence for the rest of the day all in their own thoughts, then Kao and Dyana started singing Lady Marmalade. The duet was horrible, everyone felt like burying their heads in the dirt and keeping them there. It was a long night, accent on the word loooooooooooooooooooooooong.  
  
"Are we there yet?" Taigan asked not for the first time.  
  
"No," Alanna replied curtly.  
  
There was a slight pause among the company, "Now are we?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"What about now?"  
  
"NO!!"  
  
"Hey, no need to yell at me!!!"  
  
Alanna mumbled something about stupid, insolent children that deserve to die then continued to whack Keita in the back of the head because she was snoring and drooling on her tunic. The company continued the long trek towards the castle wearily and Keita continued to snore loudly and Alanna continued to whack her in the back of the head, Kao would occasional burst in to song all the sudden and Katey would kick her in the shins, Reaper would suddenly jump off the horse and start throwing stones and laughing, and so on.  
  
"Alright, I don't want you idiots to start getting all gitty but we're nearing the castle and we'd go a lot faster if KAO WOULD SHUT UP!!" Alanna yelled suddenly when Kao began to sing once again and sending daggers from her eyes at her.  
  
"Yeah, sorry, heh, Under Pressure is one of my favourites,"  
  
"You were singing something about ice though."  
  
"Your point is."  
  
"Oh my gods,"  
  
"HOLD ON LITLE GIRL!! SHOW ME WHAT HE'S DONE TO YOU!! STAND UP LITTLE GI-" Kao began almost yelling the words instead of singing.  
  
"SHUT UP!!!" Alanna burst angrily.  
  
"Hey, Mr. Big is a classic and always will be!!"  
  
Alanna rolled here eyes and said; "We will reach the castle in approximately an hour, because I can't stand listening to you idiots anymore." Raoul chuckled and Alanna aimed a death glare at him only making him laugh harder.  
  
"CRIKY!! THERE IS A REALLY BIG CASTLE ON MIY LEFT!! RIGHT HERE!! If you be very quiet then maybe 'e won't hear you an' we'll get a good look at 'em!!" Brekke said suddenly pointing to the castle and ducking behind a tree sticking her ass out obscenely far. (A/N sorry, my mom is watching Muppets and the have that stupid stupid Australian man.)  
  
"What the hell is she doing?!" Alanna yelled pointing rudely at Brekke who was now telling an interested Raoul about the certain ants that lived the forest and pointing and talking in a fake Australian accent.  
  
"You two are meant for each other, you're both dumbasses who, together, wouldn't equal the IQ test results of 1, and Brekke has 100% of that mark, what do you have Raoul? Oh, that's right, a dick, don't you feel special?" Kao asked sarcastically, a fake smile plastered on her face still remembering the "boys" remark. (A/N I told you I have too much pride, I swear, I have an ego from here to Mars people.)  
  
"BURN!!" Raen Lee yelled. The rest of the company tried to hide smiles under their hands as Raoul turned bright red.  
  
"Actually I happen to have a sword as well, a sharp sword." Raoul threatened.  
  
"Actually, Cami has your sword." Chopstix pointed out indicating Cami's figure struggling to raise the heavy broad sword.  
  
"SHIT!" Raoul yelled running away and trying to wrestle the sword away from Cami and failing hopelessly. Alanna outright laughed at this and mounted her horse and pointing the extra horse out to Keita who tried to mount up after her.  
  
"HEY!! WHERE AT THE CASTLE AT LONG LAST!!" Angel of the Storms yelled happily seeing the town come into view.  
  
The girls all made their own sounds and actions of joy and Alanna had to tell them repeatedly to shut the hell up and quit looking at the sights and watch their purses that appeared to be over-flowingly full. The girls barely kept their eyes from the large selection of sights and markets, then Reaper suddenly yelled, "HEY!! THAT BASTARD JUST STOLE MY PURSE!!" "STOP THEIF!!" Kao yelled pointing at a man's back dramatically having read it in a book. Reaper jumped from her horse and pounced on the man's back and started punching him wildly even after the purse was beside her. Alanna had to basically beat Reaper to get off the man with her sword. "One word Reaper, CONTROL!!!!!" Alanna yelled angrily grabbing Reaper by the collar and pulling her back, she had a split lip but the other guy.well, let's not get into it. Reaper grabbed her purse and spat on the thief, she glared then walked away. "Holy shit, easy tiger," Taigan scolded, "For all you know he may have been forced to steal, he might not have the money to buy food in an hone-" "Before she could finish Reaper cut her off short with, "Shut up, I don't like it when people take my things, I just don't, I don't know many people who do either." "But you didn't have to totally beat the man to a bloody pulp," she looked over her shoulder, "Literally." "Yeah, well, sometimes I don't know my own strength." "That's no excuse! That was totally savage!! You may as well have been raised in a cave for all the manners you have!!" "I was partially raised in a cave, do I seem savage to you?" a voice said making the girls spin around. "I have to say I'm insulted." "Daine, I apologize, these are.people we met on the road who are on their way to the castle to train as various ranks." Alanna explained pausing slightly on the word "people" not quite sure of what she wanted to call the hyper and over-active teenagers. Daine raised an eyebrow and said, "Well, if you're to train at the castle I suggest you may want to think of what you say before you say it." Taigan blushed and apologized curtsying deeply. "Hey, I just noticed something, Eve, didn't you say that there were a whole bunch of people in that group?!?!?" Angel of the Storms asked angrily. Eve giggled then said, "I just wanted to see Cami freak out." Cami glared had already noticed that Neal wasn't in the group of riders. "Hey, Neal happens to be very special to me!" "Oh? And may I ask who YOU are considering I'm so important to you?" a voice said making Cami turn red as a bright tomato.  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N heh heh, that was fun, I don't know why, it was kinda lame don't you think? Mah, oh well, next chapter will be up eventually.......I don't know when, ugh, I need sleep..later. 


	9. Stupid Mornings

CHAPTERS ARE FUN!! FUNFUNFUNFUNFUNFUNFUN!! Sorry, I'm kinda hyper for some odd reason.  
  
  
  
"CAMI!! COME OUT!! IT'S," Chopstix stifled a laugh and continued with a smile, "NOT THAT," Chopstix started laughing really hard and couldn't continue.  
  
"Oh god, you people suck," Raen Lee said rolling her eyes.  
  
"It's," laugh, "not," laugh, "that," laugh laugh, "BAD!! AH HA HA HA HA!!" Eve stuttered bursting out laughing.  
  
"NOT THAT BAD!!" Cami said bursting out of the room she'd been hiding in ever since she'd said that Neal was special to her and he was standing right behind her, "NOT THAT BAD?!?!?! I THINKS I'M A FREAK!!"  
  
"No!! I'm sure he doesn't think you're a freak!!" Keita cooed, "Perhaps just a little.peculiar." Keita started laughing.  
  
"YOU PEOPLE SUCK!!!" Cami yelled slamming the door shut again.  
  
"I think we should leave her for a little while and just go to our rooms and.unpack? F*ck, we don't have any clothes, what the hell are we gonna do?" Kao asked realized the problem with the fun. (A/N told you I swear a lot, I'd've put more swear words but I'm trying to keep it to a minimal, HA!)  
  
"I think we should ask Alanna, or maybe NEAL!!!" Katey said yelling "Neal" all of the sudden. From inside the room you could hear a muffled and angry "SHUT UP!!" Katey laughed and fell on the floor.  
  
Kao stared at Katey and kicked her lightly in the ribs. "What the hell are you doing you crack head? Get off the damn floor." Katey responded by laughing. Kao rolled her eyes and continued to complain that she didn't want to go shopping. Everyone responded by ignoring her and Brekke even went as far as taking a part of Kao's tunic and stuffing it in her mouth. Kao spat it out and chased Brekke around the room and soon everyone was gone expect for Katey who was still laughing outside of Cami's room.  
  
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The next day, Cami walked out of her room and fell over a large lump in the middle of the hall floor."What the hell? Katey? What the f*uck are you doing?"  
  
"Humph?" Katey said spuinting up at her groggily.  
  
"You look like shit."  
  
"Well, I'm so flattered I could kiss you, but I won't because you smell and I don't want genital herpies."  
  
"I DON'T HAVE HERPIES!!"  
  
"Who has herpies?" Raen Lee asked walking out of her room from attached to Cami's.  
  
"Cami does."  
  
"NO I DON'T YOU IDIOT!!"  
  
"OH MY GOD!! YOU HAVE HERPIES?!?! THAT'S DISGUSTING!!"  
  
"AGHH!" Cami gave a annoyed grunt/groan and walked out of her room, walking AROUND Katey, meanwhile kicking her in the head, "YOU PEOPLE SUCK!!" she yelled over her shoulder. Just then the bell rang and Raen Lee gave a nice long line of curses and Katey ran back to her room so she could get ready for training. "Wait a second, who's going to be TEACHING me?!?!!?" She thought horrified, she hadn't thought of that before.  
  
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"Where the hell is Katey?" Angel of the Storms asked Kao who grunted in response. "How the f*uck should I know you stupid son of a ^$#&%#*%#*^%&$^?!?!?!?!" Kao yelled back groggily throwing her pillow at Angel of the Storm's head and missing by a mile and hitting the change thingy and knocking it over. "B*tches, you're all B*TCHES!!" she cursed. "Jesus, you really aren't a morning person." Angel of the Storms (A/N that's it, I'm calling you "Storms" from now on!) commented. "REALLY???!?! YOU JUST NOTICED!!" She yelled throwing another pillow and Storm's head and, again, missing. Just then the bell rang making Kao scream curses and fall out of her bed and onto the floor, much to Storm's amusement. "YOU PEOPLE SUCK!!"  
  
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"Gah, morning's are BORING!! THE SUN'S NOT EVEN UP YET FOR CRISSAKE!!" Brekke yelled to the morning.  
  
"Oh, quit your whining!" Eve yelled back stuffing a leg into her breeches then noticing it was her tunic and trying to pull it off then falling on her ass, " STUPID SON OF A ^$#&%#*#%!!!!"  
  
Brekke laughed and Eve threw her pants at her then ran and took them back. "What do you think we're gonna do today?" Eve asked putting her REAL pants on.  
  
"I dunno, does it look like I know? DO I LOOK LIKE A BLOODY PSYCHIC TO YOU?!?!" Brekke yelled back.  
  
"No, but you sure look like a psycho!!"  
  
"Mah, I don't care, but you should start getting ready."  
  
"Why?" The bell rings.  
  
"That's why," Eve said walking out the door.  
  
"BITCH!" Brekke yelled scrambling out of her bed in a rush, "YOU PEOPLE SUCK!"  
  
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"Mmm, sleep." Dyana said over a river of drool.  
  
"You know, I'm surprised she hasn't drowned." Keita said curiously poking Dyana with a stick she found.  
  
"Why is that?" Reaper asked.  
  
"Because I turned her on her back last night, she was snoring, I didn't like it." Keita answered still poking Dyana.  
  
"O.kay," Reaper said turning around.  
  
"BITCH!" Chopstix fell out of the bed with a loud curse and a BANG!  
  
Reaper laughed as she finished putting on her clothes and laughed all the harder when Chopstix started struggling wildly because the blankets were tangled all around her, Chopstix made grunts and burst of anger as she tried to untangle herself.  
  
"GAH!" Dyana suddenly yelled spitting drool everywhere, some landing on Keita. Keita gave a look of great disgust and wiped the saliva on Dyana's blankets.  
  
"I don't think that was a great idea, you never know what she did to them." Chopstix said stopping for a second to catch her breath then continued to fight with the evil sticky blankets.  
  
"EWWWWWWWW!!" Keita yelled.  
  
Suddenly.the bell rang, "OH CRAP!!" Chopstix yelled, fighting even harder, soon, the blankets ripped. Much to Chopstix's disappointment. The girls ran out of the room in a stampede and Dyana fell on her face, "YOU PEOPLE SUCK!!" she yelled clambering up.  
  
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"Ahhh, morning's are my FAVOURITE!!" Taigan said happily, it was also noon. Taigan dressed in a plain dark sea blue dress  
  
Brekke-Spy, teal Gift, the Sight Eve-Spy, invisibility Kao-Shang Katey-Shang Angel of the Storms-Shang, midnight blue Gift Cami-Knight, Emerald green Gift Raen Lee-Knight Keita-war mage, red Gift Dyana-Mage, light blue Gift; muse with white haze Reaper-Wild Magic Chopstix-Wild Magic Taigan-Lady, purple Gift  
  
"Kathryn did you spill chocolate syrup on one of those old texts?" "NO I SWEAR I DIDN'T! IT WAS SOMEONE ELSE!!" "Then why is it everywhere from that bookshelf from where the book came from to where you're sitting?" "..I don't know.." "And why is it on your shirt?" "DEAR GOD THEY GOT ME TOO!!! AHHH!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!" 


	10. Training then some Fight I mean some lun...

Disclaimer: This is SO annoying, from now on, I, Kathryn Nicole Egan, own nothing and never shall, so from here on in, I acknowledge that I do not own TARMORA PEIRCE'S books, characters, etc., etc.,.get the bloody point yet?!?!?! I take a fifth that I own nothing!! YOU GOT ALL THAT?!?! I OWN NOTHING!! Improvise whatever thingys that mean I don't own TP's stuff, I don't care as long as you know that it's NOT MINE!! So ha, you can't sue me for the very few pennies I own!!! Hey, even if you did sue me, I believe you'd get about 15 cents and a tiki, slim pickings my friends. What's wushu? Is it fun? Can I join? I want to master karate, judo, jujitsu, kung fu, kip kid, aikido, weaponry, tai chi, and a whole bunch of others that I don't feel the need to mention right now, mostly there is five I have on the top of my list, karate, jujitsu, kung fu, judo, and weaponry, yeah, I know, high expectations but I would probably have at least a green belt in all of them if I was allowed to actually practice or start that many, but I can't, so, c'est la vie right? Oh, and Keita requested to be a hunter/outdoors person so she'll be a spy and a mage, kapeesh?  
  
  
  
"Is it just me, or does this feel an awful lot like boot camp? I mean, you got the trainers yellin' and spittin' in your face, you have the one million and one push-ups and burpees, now I admit, I've never been to boot camp but this has got to be close right?" Cami asked in the middle of her push-ups whispering each word after each breath.  
  
"You get used to it, believe me," Kao said not looking as tired, but still sweating.  
  
"Blah, blah, big karate girl in isle seven," Brekke snapped back.  
  
The eight girls struggled to finish their pus-ups and flopped down thankfully when they finally finished, to make things easier the king hadn't wanted to part them and decided that they'd receive training together for the physical stuff. Keita had decided at the last moment to be a spy as well so had spy training in the morning and mage training in the evening. "Why did I actually VOLENTEER for this?" Keita asked the fluffy white clouds, they didn't answer much to her disappointment, "Fine, be that way!!"  
  
"Hey!! What are you doing? You thought you got a break?!!? What do you need breaks for? To pass the time why don't you do some sit ups to pass the time? Or are you too tired?" the instructor asked tauntingly saying the last part as though talking to babies.  
  
"Why yes I am too tired, thank you for the concern." Eve said sitting down in the soft grass dreamily.  
  
The instructor looked like he was either going to burst out laughing or wring Eve's neck, he finally decided to pick her up by the collar of her tunic and drop her again none too gently.  
  
"Well that was rude, and I thought we had a break-through in the new nice you." Eve mumbled angrily under her breath.  
  
"Oh shut your pie hole Dumbass and do your sit ups." Storms snapped.  
  
Eve made a rude gesture and Storms threw a rock at her face. Soon Storms and Eve were punching and kicking wildly at each other until the instructor pulled them apart receiving a punch from one of Storms' rogue throws.  
  
A red mark could be seen on the instructor's face, then again, his whole face was red, and he looked mad, very mad. Eve made a little meep before he dropped them and ordered 100 more sit-ups to the already 200. The girls suppressed groans and did them without complaint.  
  
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"So I do what exactly?" Dyana asked looking at her flaming hand.  
  
"I want you to sort of push with your mind," Numair answered.  
  
"I do that how exactly?"  
  
Numair threw his hands up in exasperation and walked away. "So what are you doing?" he asked Chopstix curiously as she repeatedly changed her eyes back and forth to a raven's and back. "Stop that, you're making me dizzy!" Chopstix smiled sheepishly, her eyes stopping at a raven's and looking quite strange. "Okay can you turn around or something?"  
  
Reaper appeared to be having trouble with calling a bunch of mice from inside the walls to her and ended up throwing something at the wall. It ended up being one of Numair's vials, the wall exploded into smoke and when the smoke drifted off there was some kind of strange pink thing. "THAT'S A TUTU!!" Reaper yelled excitedly pointing at the bushy pink thing.  
  
"Tutu? What's that? I wear that around at night, it makes me capable of flying.  
  
Dyana snickered and said, "Why don't you," *snicker* "show us?" there were more suppressed snickers from the girls as Numair stepped into the tutu carefully not understanding. "Now hold this," Chopstix said giving Numair a little scepter. "Now you're a pretty, pretty princess,"  
  
"NO! Wait, put this on," Reaper found a tacky gold tiara and made it bright pink with her gift and placed it on Numair's head.  
  
Numair stood dumbly looking around at them like a confused little boy. "What? WHAT?" he asked as the girls burst out laughing. "WHAT?!?!?"  
  
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When the lunch bell rang the girls ran for the food, they kicked and snarled their way to the front of the line people backing away alarmed. "This food is crap, I wish we could pizza or something GOOD!" Eve complained looking at a glob of uncooked meat or something.  
  
"Hey, be grateful, if you saw what they give out at the cafeteria at school that my friend, would be a delicacy." Storms said pointing at the glob. Eve made a face and took an apple.  
  
"So what do you think we're doing next?" Dyana asked curiously biting into a piece of orange.  
  
"I dunno, does it look like I know? 'Cause I don't, if I did I'd tell you but I don't so I can't, and unless I have a sticker that says I do or something don't ask." Raen Lee ranted waving her arms manically.  
  
"O...kay, so, what's going on it the land of unpsychos?" Eve asked turning back to everyone else. Brekke was throwing her food in the air and trying to catch it in her mouth, Kao was carving her name in the table with a large hunting knife, Katey had fallen asleep in her food, Storms was counting imaginary sheep that were running across the floor then started yelling excitedly, Dyana was foaming at the mouth, Cami's eyes were glazed over and she was moving like a zombie, Keita was destroying ants with her Gift, Chopstix was trying to stop Keita by bashing her head on her plate, Reaper was throwing stones and laughing (A/N I find that hilarious for some reason.), and Raen Lee was dancing on the table singing 'Oops I did it again' as loud as she could (A/N sorry, I find that hilarious). Eve smacked herself on the head and continued to eat her lunch calmly despite the chaos surrounding her. When they started to get a few looks and Raen Lee was singing 'Oops I Did it Again' for the third time Eve got her stuff and moved to a different table.  
  
"Would you mind if I sat here please?" Eve asked a young boy with jet- black hair.  
  
"Aren't you friends with." the boy indicated to the psychos that had occupied the table in the corner.  
  
"No," She answered quickly.  
  
"Whatever, I may as well introduce you to everyone," he said indicating to the other boys that sat with him, "I am Garb, that is Bleiz," he pointed to a boy with almost white hair and piercing green eyes, he gave a slight uninterested wave and continued eating.  
  
"I, am Briec," another boy said with dark brown hair and brown eyes said with a disarming grin, "It's a pleasure to meet such a fine lady," he brushed his lips slightly on Eve's hand.  
  
"PERVERT!! AHHHH!! FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE!!" Eve yelled throwing her hand up and whacking him in the face then running away back to the psycho table.  
  
Briec recovered slightly and turned to look at the psycho table, they seemed to be leaning in on what Eve said, the girl with the blond hair seemed to be especially listening intently, she turned slowly with a creepy grin on her face and stared right at him. Briec turned his attention away but could still feel the unblinking robotic eyes on him. (A/n I'm sorry, I was just thinking about 'Chuckie' and that's funny, suddenly someone just turning and staring STRAIGHT AT YOU with a big, weird smile plastered on their face and really big eyes that look insane? Just picture it for a second.AH HA HA HA!!)  
  
The girls started walking towards the boy's table in a gang, they all appeared to have a black spider on their hands.(A/N sorry, heh, it's.I don't really know but it's funny alright!) "I thought you didn't know them?" The boy introduced as Garb said raising an eyebrow questionably.  
  
"He's the one who threatened me!!" Eve said in a hushed whisper.  
  
"What?" Garb asked.  
  
"I DIDN'T SAY YOU COULD TALK SCUM!!" Raen Lee yelled pointing at him.  
  
"You didn't just call me scum wench," Garb said rising out of his seat.  
  
"And you ::so:: didn't just call me a wench." Storms said walking towards him threateningly. The two walked towards each other until they were almost nose to nose both trying to show the other down. Suddenly Garb pushed Storms and Storms retaliated by punching him squarely in the gut. Garb fell on the floor and groaned, "Okay, you win, oww, you're strong, Jesus you're really strong," he groaned some more. Storms smiled approvingly and walked away.  
  
The rest of the boys looked at Garb squirming on the floor uselessly, "Good gods Garb, that's a GIRL!! You should be stronger than her, how hard can she hit?" Breic asked disgustedly walking up to Kao about to make a demonstration on how to punch.  
  
When Breic went to punch Kao grabbed his arm and twisted it then punched him repeatedly all the while screaming about sexist bastards again, soon she had him under her and was pummeling him endlessly. Katey looked at her and told her to stop, then, when Kao didn't she shrugged and lunged at Bleiz, "Hey albino boy,"  
  
"Jez, she really doesn't like men, think she's gay?" Eve asked Reaper questionably.  
  
"I dunno, don't really care either as long as she doesn't pull a move on me." Reaper replied watching the chaos with a bucket of popcorn that appeared mysteriously.  
  
"Hey gimmie some of that!" Eve reached for some popcorn and stuffed a handful into her mouth quite rudely.  
  
"WHAT IS THIS!!" a voice yelled angrily over the yells, it was obvious that the girls were winning the fight dramatically and the boys were cowering.  
  
"Oh nothing, we're just totally whipping some sexist ass." Keita said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Oh, these guys thought that we couldn't hit as hard as they could and we gave them a demonstration, those two didn't participate," Raen Lee said pointing at Eve and Reaper.  
  
The instructor turned to find Kao still on top of Briec and punching him all the while screaming. The instructor had to pick Kao up and displace her on the other side of the room. She turned disappointedly and tried to run back but was caught again and put back in the corner. Kao mumbled some more then plopped down in a chair glaring at Briec angrily, even though he couldn't see her through the large puffy eye sockets. "What do you mean 'give them a demonstration'? You're pathetically outnumbered!" he yelled coming back to the other girls keeping an eye on Kao.  
  
"Then you must know that they're either pathetically weak, or, that we're really strong. Look around at the results for a second, what do you see?" Chopstix asked.  
  
The instructor looked around and saw that all the boys we're either already pummeled or we're about to be pummeled. Then, he laughed, "I want you girls to help these "boys" with actually being able to fight, because from what I see.that's not happening."  
  
"With pleasure," Kao said getting up and starting to walk back to Briec only to be pulled back to the corner.  
  
  
  
A/N WHOO HOO!! I like updating, I feel good! *puffs chest out then stop because she doesn't feel like it anymore* so, what did you think?? If I'm placing myself in this story to much just tell me and I'll just basically pretend like I'm not even there, it's just I know that I'd do something like that.that's kind a scary isn't it? *shrugs* oh well, I'm too ill tempered, BIG DEAL!! 


	11. More Fighting and Some Training

Yeah, so disclaimer's are taken care of, or so I hope, and honestly they're so annoying that I refuse to do them anymore for this story at least, but I took a fifth and that's that!! So HA! IN YOUR FACE LEMON MERANE!! Anyway, sorry about that, *coughs* ON TO THE STORY!! I just got a phone call and they said that they weren't selling anything but they wanted to do a thirty- minute survey with me, I was just like.um, sure? Honestly I'd thought she'd meant SECOND but, well, I just noticed that seconds meant minutes.anyways, you're probably deeply annoyed right now by my endless rants so I won't make you wait any longer for this chap! HA! FOOLED YOU!! No I'm just kid- PSYIC!! I live in a house of psychos, my cat's a friggin' psycho, she's chasing something that isn't there, did I say that there WASN'T ANYTHING THERE?? And say, is wushu something like ku budo??? .I was falling asleep in math today.apparently I was making weird noises.then I said I always make noises.then when I went to lunch I got a big thing of sugar and ate it..mmmm *drools at the thought of sugar then takes a big bag and pours it into her mouth* oops, I just noticed that I put a part from a different chapter I made while I was bored and eating chocolate syrup...hehe, I do that then cut, paste when I go somewhere else, so you'll be seeing that again, sorry 'bout that!! Jez. I really screwed that chapter up didn't I? Well, I'll be reposting it without the mistakes!! So, if it interests you in the slightest go on ahead and read it, it's just the ending part though, explaining the chaotic state the castle will be once I've finish with this chapter!! MUH AH AH AH!!  
  
  
  
  
  
"So do we get punishment work or something??" Eve asked curiously after their little run in with the boys.  
  
"Are you asking me if you get punishment work? The instructor asked raiseing an eyebrow.  
  
Eve started to reply when Kao put a hand over her mouth and continued, "Nope, she's not asking,"  
  
The instructor grinned approvingly and Kao glared at Eve then explained that if you asked about something then the instructor would probably give you ten hours worth of what you asked for. (A/N stupid people in my karate class haven't learned that rule yet and we all end up doing about ten push-ups and scrunches, or ten jumping jacks and running around the dojo ten times, THAT I am not kidding about either, these idiots ASK for extra!!)  
  
"So then where are we going?" Storms asked.  
  
"Well, I want you all to learn the staff then we'll be moving to some other weaponry," the instructor said.  
  
"But I thought that we were all going separate ways." Reaper said and curious eyebrow raised.  
  
"Well, we figured it'd be easier to teach all the psychos at once with the other pages. So technically you're all getting the training of pages." The instructor explained.  
  
Chopstix mimicked the instructor rudely the got the death glare. "But not all of us are going to be pages." Dyana said.  
  
"No, but it's easier if we're training one big group at once instead of lots of little groups at random times of the day."  
  
The girls nodded and followed silently, the boys trailing lazily behind. "Shouldn't they be going to the healing wing?" Storms asked grinning evilly.  
  
"Oh, so they should be, boys, you're excused, and when you're better, prepare yourselves for some serious physical work." The instructor said disappointedly. The boys glared and mumbled then walked away to the left all planning a way to get back at the girls.  
  
The girls trailed the instructor to a large room filled with boys waving staffs around lazily, they all turned to see the 11 girls crowd in. A dull murmur echoed around the room considering there hadn't been a female page in years, (A/N my story takes place five years after lady knight!!) One particular boy looked extremely amused by the situation and Kao almost ran up and punched his lights out before the instructor caught her by the collar and removed her to the other side of the room. After that the boy watched her curiously and knew who his staff partner was going to be. "Boys, these are new recruits to the castle from...various fiefs, not all of them are to be pages but all will receive the same training. If you have a problem, you can-" before the instructor could finish, Kao started cracking her knuckles loudly and grinning, the girls and the instructor knowing what she was thinking, got slightly nervous. "Anyways, you can go stuff it up your ass, alright? Because I don't want to hear your problems, I'm not a doctor alright?"  
  
The boys mumbled their disapproval and got partners. The boy who'd showed particular disgust with the girls walked towards Kao and asked to be her partner, she grinned evilly and said, "It'd be my pleasure," with that she grabbed a staff and held it easily in her hand and walked to the training fields.  
  
The girls all got partners with one of the boys purely so that Cami could go with a boy that looked oddly like Joren of Stone Mountain.Raen Lee went with a boy that was almost twice her size, also, she was grinning, evilly, it was kinda scary.  
  
The instructor told them to do some light taps first then go faster and harder as the partner grew more accostimed. Suddenly, Raen Lee's partner started to go really fast and perpusly hitting her hands with his staff. When he took a swing at her head after faking to the legs she lost in and swing her staff up in a sharp turn and spun around swiftly and whacked him in the head, he blocked it but was unprepared for the tricky one that came from at the stomach then to the kidneys when she reversed the staff and brought it up smashing his nose, he grunted and fell back. The instructor saw that he was taking foul and cheap shots didn't get Raen Lee in trouble but told her to take it harder on him, after her went to the hospital wing of course for his broken nose.  
  
Kao was violently smacking her partner with her staff because he'd been trying to hit her all the while when she hardly knew how to use a staff, so, she retaliated by grabbing his staff and throwing it then hitting him with her staff, finding that ineffective she threw the staff and rolled up her sleeves and charged. The instructor found her wrestling with him and got them both in trouble for him provoking her, and Kao for being so straight out violent and not even trying to contain her temper. The partner got sent to the hospital wing and she teamed up with Raen Lee.  
  
The staff training was boring and uneventful after that, other then a few broken fingers on the boys' part nothing happened. The instructor told them to go to their other classes. First, for those with the Gift went to their class and the rest went to history. The day was long, boring, and stupid. They already knew more than teachers on most subjects and slept during them. Eve got bored and became invisible, Katey whacked her head repeatedly against her desk, Kao tried to sneak out with the excuse she had to go to the bathroom, and when Raen Lee got asked to do a complicated-at least in the teachers terms-and did it no problem practically sleep walking up to the board and barely looking at the equation seriously, got it right, was told to teach the class, she didn't, told them some tricks, sat down, and fell asleep with a bang.  
  
Dyana walked down the stairs to see a long line of boys in front of the hospital wing and laughed, "I see you've met the new girls!!" she laughed at their shocked faces and went to dinner, she had just walked around the castle not bothering with lunch and was now going to meet her friends for dinner.  
  
  
  
A/N alright, you'd better be happy! Hope you liked it, wait, what am I talking about? I don't care if you liked it!! Oh, and Dyana, YOU DIDN'T DROOL IN THIS ONE!! Don't worry, there will be plenty more drool in future chapters!! Anywho, I have karate in about, SHIT!! TEN MINTUES!! BAH!!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Kao-Shang Katey-Shang Angel of the Storms-Shang, midnight blue Gift Cami-Knight, Emerald green Gift Raen Lee-Knight Brekke-Spy, teal Gift, the Sight Eve-Spy, invisibility Keita-war mage, red Gift/spy Dyana-Mage, light blue Gift; muse with white haze Reaper-Wild Magic Chopstix-Wild Magic  
  
Taigan-Lady, purple Gift  
  
"Kathryn did you spill chocolate syrup on that old text?" "NO I SWEAR I DIDN'T! IT WAS SOMEONE ELSE!!" "Then why is it everywhere from that bookshelf from where the book came from to where you're sitting?" "..I don't know.." "And why is it on your shirt?" "DEAR GOD THEY GOT ME TOO!!! AHHH!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!" 


	12. A Time to be Bored

Ahhh crap, I did it again!! Now there is going to be THREE damn chapters with my funny little quote!! Hehe, that's my favourite, chocolate syrup, I was eating that in class the other day.the teacher was just like, "Kathryn put the brown cow away," then I went all Lord of the Rings and started stroking it saying, "It's mine, my own, my preciousssssssssssssssssssss!" it was so funny, then my friend asked me why I had it, I said I was eating it, I ate some in front of her, she gave me a look, I laughed, dribbled a little. Then, hehe, on the bus, my friend spilt some syrup on my other friend and her hands were all sticky!! Then I dribbled again and my chin was sticky.  
  
  
  
"So, I think we should all get together and make plans for Tortall domination." Kao said in a strange deep voice, at least, deeper than it usually is (A/N I have a surprisingly deep voice for a girl, it's kinda creepy.).  
  
"I think you should shut the hell up," Katey said.  
  
"Hehe, hell," Kao said laughing, Katey gave her a look and walked faster so she could walk beside Storms who was talking about ripping things.  
  
"So Taigan, what did you do?" Chopstix asked who was walking just in front of Storms and Katey.  
  
"Well, I slept till 12:00, walked a little, then I met you guys, and now we're here, and surprisingly you didn't pummel anyone at dinner, I saw the cluster of boys waiting to be looked at for any serious damage." Taigan said with a grin. Chopstix responded by glaring considering the time differences hey got to sleep at.  
  
(A/N hehe, someone with the email alex... I can't really remember right now but he said he was alex when I asked who it was because all the sudden he's like, sorry but I don't, so I said, yeah I got that much smart ass after he said his name was alex, I laughed at him. now I'm writing about it.he's Spanish, no I feel like an ass for being rude, ah crap, I need anger management, I almost hit my teacher today.)  
  
"I hate you," Chopstix said with her penetrating glare.  
  
"What?" Taigan asked looking at Chopstix as she would a rabid dog.  
  
Dyana appeared to have started talking to herself again, she listened intently to whatever it was that the muse seemed to be saying. Occasionally she would nod excitedly and gasp, "So what do you think will happen?" she asked in a not so hushed whisper. Whatever it had been that the muse had said it pleased Dyana because she seemed to calm down. Cami looked at Dyana like she had more than one head and slowed her pace so she could walk with Eve and Keita who were discussing the amazing topic of history class. Cami rolled her eyes and blurted, "Think we'll be allowed to adventure at all instead of being crammed in this forever boring pit of shit?"  
  
"Hopefully we'll go adventuring soon, 'cause I swear, if that damn goddess lied about us having to fight the forces of evil." Reaper said pointing to her neck in a slicing motion with a finger.  
  
Eve laughed nervously and said with an awkward smile that she might use when talking to a homicidal mental case, "Sure, whatever you say Reaper, you're not coming anywhere near me I hope you know,". With that she trailed back to Kao who was mumbling angrily to herself about the stupid voices in her head that wouldn't shut up. Eve put her index finger and her thumb at the bridge of her nose as though the hold off a headache bound to charge in and shook her head disapprovingly.  
  
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"So how many girls did you say were found coming to the castle?" The king asked stroking his small beard his eyebrows furred together as he thought about the oncoming problem with the strange new creature Ortick.  
  
"Twelve sir, two pages, three Shangs, three spies, one mage with a muse, one Lady, and two girls with strong Wild Magic," the man at the door said.  
  
"Hmm, don't you find it odd that the exact moment we are in extreme trouble with a new demon, that twelve new girls all coming to the castle with a strangely powerful magic or talent? It's unorthodox, there must be something about these girls that they aren't telling us, they either know something about the Ortick, sent to protect us, or they were sent by the monster itself," Jonathon said pacing his study nervously.  
  
"Sir, I think you need some sleep, none of these girls are over 15, they can't be vessels for the gods,"  
  
"What about Daine? She was no more than 15 when the gods decided her fate,"  
  
"Sir, you're overreacting, we can discuss it later with the castle, for now just sleep on it and think it over before taking a drastic measure and doing something that you may regret later."  
  
Jonathon sighed and replied tiredly, "I suppose you're right, thank you for not letting my imagination run away," with that he turned and went to his bed and slept fretfully and had strange morbid dreams.  
  
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"So who votes we go for an adventure during Christmas break?" Raen Lee asked with a mischievous grin.  
  
"I believe it's called Midwinter here," Katey commented quite rudely.  
  
"Yeah, whatever, the time we don't have school alright?" Raen Lee snapped back. It was their third week into their training, and the mages spent most of their time with Numair, the Shangs were always busy being dragged around by the Wildcat and the Horse for their training having them work as much as they could, the spies were being taught certain mixtures and poisons they may need (A/N happy Eve? lol).  
  
"I FEEL A SONG COMING ON!!" Kao suddenly yelled bursting into 'Build Me up Buttercup' she would suddenly point an imaginary microphone in someone's face and make them sing a part of the song. When Kao walked by Breic she pointed the "microphone" in his face, he glared and walked away. Kao wanted to run after him to do the obvious but actually controlled herself then started singing Sweet Dreams by Marilyn Manson, much to the other girls' disgust.  
  
"Well? What do you think about escaping to the wild barren lands of the forest?" Raen Lee asked excitedly imagining all the adventure they'd have.  
  
"I'm game," Storms commented. The girls slowly agreed and they decided that they would make the grand escape in exactly twenty days when none other than the king approached them and asked them to follow him. They had no choice but to follow him outside and to the stables, he made them all get their own horses and saddled his own and they made their way to the forest..  
  
  
  
A/N oooooo I bet I left you in suspense!! Eh? Eh??? No? I didn't? WHY YOU LITTLE!! *tries to push head into computer to strangle* 


	13. More Travelling, Kirkus Nadwack? What th...

A/N yeah I'm alone at the moment listening to heavy metal, in the dark, jesus, I'm a freak, *runs to turn light on just for at least some sake of normalcy, then goes back and turns them off because she doesn't like light* when Julie gets home she's going to call me either an idiot, a skid, or disgusting, or maybe, if I'm lucky, all of the above! *sarcastic squeal of delight* Anyways, I don't exactly have a clear thought about where I'm going with this so, it might end up either really long or really weird, perhaps even both, yeah, probably both, prepare yourselves for a novel people. Okay, I've stopped, then began again on this chapter so it's gonna be a little weird, I just drank about half a litre of mellow yellow so I'm kind of, you know YSRGHEAGHOEA!!!  
  
"Where are we GOING!!" Reaper asked the king because of the boredom she was suffering.  
  
The king gave her a look then said, "We're to meet Lady Alanna, Neal, Raoul, Daine, Numair, George, Myles, Lady Keladry, and Duke Baird for a meeting, we think you should be there, actually they have no idea you're coming, they don't even know what this meeting is about, other than that I said it's important." Raen Lee went slightly red when Neal's name was mentioned because of her last encounter with him.  
  
"Great, we get to see sexist bastard again," Kao mumbled when Raoul's name had been mentioned, no one paid any attention to her and looked at the king in expectance.  
  
"Well, what about Thayet?" Chopstix asked curiously.  
  
"I don't want to disturb my wife on such matters." Jonathon replied smoothly.  
  
"I see, so why are we going to this meeting?" Eve asked trying to make her horse not try to eat the bushes on the side of the path.  
  
"Well, it's about you girls." He replied, the girls almost fell off their horses and each were probably thinking about the same thing, 'Does he know that we're not from Tortall?'  
  
"Have...you..ever..had....the...feeling....there...are...a......million....p eople..in...your head...and...they're...all talking! AT! ONCE!!" Kao said hitting herself on the head with her palm a pained expression on her face.  
  
The king looked at Kao for a second as she hit herself on the head until Katey came over and tied Kao's hands behind her back. Kao looked around with her eyes glazed over confusedly.  
  
"Anyways, as you were saying King Jonathon," Raen Lee asked curiously.  
  
"Um, well, you girls seem to have a heightened knowledge higher than we've ever seen, or even heard of, so we figured that perhaps we could-"  
  
"Begin a nuclear war?" Kao snapped her hands still tied behind her.  
  
"What war?" the king asked confusedly.  
  
Storms glared and Kao then said, "Nuclear war, it's..unpleasant, but what I think Kao means is are you asking us for weapons?"  
  
"No, I was just curious of how advanced you are in knowledge,"  
  
"You mean technology?" Eve asked looking at the Discman that she seemed to have been able to smuggle into Tortall successfully.  
  
"Technology?"  
  
"Yeah, here, this is an example of our technology," Eve made to put the headphones over the king's head when he jerked away eyeing her suspiciously, "Hey, look, if we wanted you dead, we'd've done it a lot more discreetly," Eve said putting the headphones over his head. She grinned, and then turned the cd on, too bad the volume was up all the way and that the song started halfway through, "LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!!!!!!" the king cried out and threw the headphones off, much to the girls' amusement, they all started laughing and Kao fell off her horse since she had nothing to hang onto, she put her legs through her arms and bit the rope off, jumping back on her horse, she started to cackle insanely.  
  
"Hey Eve, do you have anything lighter, I don't think his Highness can handle heavy metal." Taigan commented still laughing. The king looked at her with a mixture of awe considering these 11 girls had the nerve to laugh at him, their king, and annoyance, his face turned slightly red from embarrassment.  
  
"Yeah, I think I may have something that suit you're tastes, here, you'll like this more, I guarantee," Eve said putting the headphones back on Jonathon's head then turning it on, Moonlight Sonata on the piano played softly through the headphones. Jonathon relaxed noticeably and asked, "What wonder is this?"  
  
"It's called Moonlight Sonata, it's by Beethoven, and that is only little compared to some other things we have," Eve replied thinking about airplanes and flying off to a Caribbean wonderland, looking dubiously around at the cold dank forest around them.  
  
"Now, fifty bucks says that Jonnyboy is thinking about weaponry," Kao snapped again, just as Jonathon was about to ask about it. Jonathon closed his mouth and stared back at Kao's angry and unblinking glare, she reluctantly looked away and thought rebelliously about war. (A/N I hate guns, it's cheating, takes away an actual accomplishment, it's just, bang, you're dead and all I had to do was pull a little button, cowards, when you get in a fight do you really think that you'll have a gun with you 24.7? didn't think so. Back to the story.)  
  
"So I take it that weaponry isn't to be talked about?"  
  
"Damn straight," Chopstix snapped disgusted that Jonathon would even think that they would give away technology in weapons.  
  
"It would utterly ruin Tortall as it is known, if technology were to be introduced, then utter chaotic destruction would break out." Dyana said grimly.  
  
"What about your world?"  
  
"There's not too far from chaotic destruction is for sure," Taigan mumbled.  
  
"Stupid people, they'd fight over the last gingerbread cookie, even if they don't like gingerbread!!" Keita yelled.  
  
"Sounds...nice," the king commented.  
  
"Shut it baldy," Brekke threatened.  
  
"BALDY?!?!?!" the king yelled his hands whipping up to his head searching for a bald spot then groaning in horror when he found it. The girls started laughing at him again as he looked close enough to weeping over his newly found bald spot.  
  
One by one the girls noticed that the king had said "world" they looked at him and nominated Cami to do the talking, "Jonathon, since you know that we're not from this world, you can't tell anyone because then we'd be thought of as a weapon, a tool of war and well, um, let me say, 'no' to that one. Thank you very much. We don't freakin' want armies common after us, freakin' World War.." She was about to say World War III, but well, yeeeeeeah.  
  
"I understand, if you wish for it to be a secret then you have my word," the Jonathon said understandingly.  
  
"And you have our word that we won't tell anyone of your bald spot," Taigan said with a mocking grin, the girls covered smiles as the king turned red. They continued to ride for about half an hour all having heard a library of songs, one being, "Just to Be the Next to Be With You", from Kao because she loves that song, a lot, she sings it everyday....  
  
"So, I forget, who's all going to be at this little meeting?" Brekke asked with a raised eyebrow trying to gain control of her horse again.  
  
"Well, there will be about 20 knights with their squires and you, Lady Alanna, Lady Keladry, Sir Myles, Sir Nealan, Sir Roaul, Numair, Daine, Lord Wyldon-" the king was rudely interrupted by Chopstix.  
  
"He's still living? Man, he must be OLD!" Chopstix commented.  
  
"Hm, yes, well, he is still living, now if I may continue," he paused for a moment and looked around at the girls to see that he had their attention, Kao was now singing "I Would Walk 500 Miles" happily not paying attention, he sighed and continued, "George, Owen, Cleon-"  
  
"HUMDALIM!!" Kao yelled suddenly.  
  
"What the hell? KAO!! KEEP THE NOISES TO YOURSELF DAMNIT!!" Cami yelled.  
  
"KIRKUS NADWACK!!" Kao cursed again as she fell off her horse (A/N I'm sorry, it was something that my friend thought I said while I was cursing). Suddenly a man with bright yellow skin of about 3 feet in tight electric blue spandex shorts and a five sizes too small pink shirt, a big goofy orange and purple hat that had spikes of bright red hair peeping out and green and magenta striped leggings jumped out his arms spread in a way as though he were introducing someone important. "What the hell?" Kao asked jumping up off the ground brushing herself off, staring the little man, "Dude, I think the mental institution is thatta way," Kao pointed to the opposite direction.  
  
"I refuse to be insulted by someone who said my name loud and clear, straight to reach my jolly ears!!" Kirkus Nadwack yelled in a strangely high-pitched, singsong voice trying to cross his arms but failing because his shirt was too small.  
  
"Oh man, don't tell me that everything you say is in rhymes!!" Kao yelled her face contorting in disgust.  
  
"Why, why, why, I think the lassie needs lessons on civility, as well as viability!" Kirkus Nadwack yelled then screeched and ran away as Kao went red with anger and started chasing him.  
  
"What'd he say?" Dyana asked curiously at the little man's choice of words.  
  
"It means that she need lessons on how to be practical and useful," The king said with a slight grin. Dyana grinned slightly because the joke wasn't all that funny.  
  
"You stupid son of a *BLEEP!* I'll *BLEEP!*ing rip you're *BLEEP!*ing head off you're *BLEEP!*ing shoulders!! GET YOUR *BLEEP!* OVER HERE!! You're only making it worse!!!" Kao yelled chasing the little man back and forth falling every once and a while over a tree stump or rock.  
  
Kirkus Nadwack made his way to hide behind Raen Lee making Kao body check Raen Lee in her mad dash to capture the little ruffian. "LEMMIE AT 'EM!!" Kao yelled.  
  
"NO!! PLEASE DON'T!! Kirkus Nadwack was only kidding and doesn't want to be smote!" Kirkus Nadwack squealed, peeking fearfully over Raen Lee whose leg he was clinging to for dear life. Kao went red at the rhyme again and almost tried to body check Raen Lee again.  
  
"Hey it's okay little buddy," Raen Lee coaxed her heart softening at the sight of the little man's fearful gaze. "Kao, back off, he said he was sorry," Raen Lee scolded.  
  
"Jes, he'd turning you into a baby Raen, stupid gnomes." Kao drifted off into a grumble about how gnomes suck ass slowly walking away kicking an occasional stone angrily glaring at Kirkus Nadwack.  
  
"So, your name is Kirkus Nadwack correct? But what are you?" Reaper asked inspecting Kirkus Nadwack curiously.  
  
"A gnome I am, Out and about searching for a long lost gem!" Kirkus Nadwack yelled excitedly his shirt ripping slightly, "Oh, this just won't do! Now I must make it anew!" he yelled pointing to at the rip, maroon and bright orange blasting from his fingertips, the rip went back together and Kirkus Nadwack started dancing again.  
  
Kao's eye twitched, and she stole Eve's Discman so she wouldn't have to hear Kirkus Nadwack's incessant rhyming. The others thought it was kinda cute but Kao looked ready to kill the little guy, Storms avoided him as much as she could and looked close enough to whacking him upside on the back of the head.  
  
"The stars shine oh so bright, On this clear, blue night! Not a cloud in sight, On this lovers' night!" Kirkus Nadwack sang easily, too bad his rhymes were crap.  
  
"Someone shut that idiot up!" Kao yelled through clenched teeth, "ITS ONLY SUNSET!!!"  
  
"How much longer do we have to listen to this?!?!!" Dyana burst angrily at an annoyed and somewhat disheveled king, who was holding his head.  
  
"I don't know!! ALRIGHT!?!?! I HAVE NO IDEA!! AND WILL SOMEONE PLEASE COVER THAT F*KCING IDIOT'S MOUTH BEFORE I REMOVED HIS GODS DAMNED TONGUE!!!" The king yelled staring venomously at Kirkus Nadwack who was staring at the king innocently, only making him madder, his face got so red that it looked like a tomato but no one noticed because they were all so angry with Kirkus Nadwack's horrible rhyming.  
  
"Oh me, oh my! You've quite the temper to reach the sky!!" Kirkus yelled.  
  
Kao let out a battle cry and threw a knife at him blindly, barely missing the little man's head. She started raving like a lunatic causing her horse to start fidgeting. Kirkus Nadwack gave out a little "meep!" and ran for his life from the angry, red-faced, company.  
  
"ABOUT BLOODY WELL TIME!!!!!" Reaper yelled after the gnome.  
  
Eve's eye was twitching and she was clenching her reins so tightly that her knuckles were going white. Katey was grinding her teeth irritatibly and tried to keep her temper down.  
  
"I swear, if he stayed longer, I would have twisted his *CENSORD* head!!!" Keita screamed.  
  
Cami seemed to be eyeing the king's sword hungrily, thinking about cutting Kirkus Nadwack into pieces.  
  
"HEY JONATHON!! ABOUT TIME YOU SNAIL!!!" Alanna yelled to him from a large clearing surrounded with various people both familiar and unfamiliar to the girls.  
  
"What in the name of the gods." a man with strange captivating blue eyes and bright yellow hair asked when he saw the company of girls.  
  
Kao snarled at the man, causing him to laugh, Katey had to hold Kao down so she wouldn't go attack the large man. "Get 'em later," she coaxed then telling the other man, "Sleep with one eye open tonight, in fact, don't sleep, any night as long as you're in the same camp with /her/."  
  
"Why did you bring them?" Raoul asked glancing nervously at Kao who was spending her time near a tree sharpening her knife some more.  
  
"The meeting is about them, I think they can help us." Jonathon replied.  
  
  
  
A/N SORRY PEOPLE!!! I haven't updated in forever because my stupid schoolwork, I didn't go anywhere for two weeks, so don't feel bad that all I got to do was fun things instead of having no time for writing, it took me every spare second I had to write this much! And now that it's Christmas break you can expect me to make up for my lack of writing for that past!!!! 


	14. The Meeting

A/N well, I'm flattered that you all just ADORED Kirkus Nadwack, *pauses as audience growl* well, um yes, *laughs nervously and continues* anyway, I WAS going to have Kirkus Nadwack come back but.no I see that if I do then I'll have people trying to kill me from all directions, so, I won't, at least he gave off the impression I wanted him to..and Rean, I apologize, I hadn't meant for your pride to be hurt or anything when Kirkus Nadwack gave puppy eyes. ON WITH THE CHAPTER!!! Oh, and I just wanted to add, more super powers will be added to you guys as the chapters go on!!! And holy shit my sister is doing this stupid little quiz, and for the girls it is totally stereotypical!! The girls' options are, A. cooking or something, B. cleaning the closet, or C. reading a book. Holy shit, for me it'd be inflicting as much chaos as possible or beating up the latest sexist bastard!! Oh, and my friend sent me this thing and apparently I'm "*NAVY*....You are attractive, and love your life. You have a strong feeling towards everything. And very easily distracted. Once you get angry at someone, its hard for you to forgive them." Whereas, I am THE most laid back person I know and I'd forgive someone for killing me if I could, the distracted part is true, but that's only because I'm very easily amused *laughs uproariously as she pokes her jello* and I would rather be a warrior in one of the fantasy books I read and wield a sword instead of a broom or a goddamn computer!!!! I hate internet quizzes, they're stupid and a waste of time, NEVER do them unless you have absolutely no life, right now I'm just bored so, yeah. Enough jabbering:  
  
  
  
"What do you mean this meeting is about them? Neal asked suspiciously. One of the other knights snorted at the sight or even the thought of one of these girls even lifting up a sword. Just then Rean Lee picked that second to still someone's sword, she snuck up stealthily towards Raoul and slowly maneuvered the large broad sword out of the sheath, she cackled silently as she walked away with the sword in her hands. The man watched her with amazement as she moved with ease with it, she tried to do a complex fighting dance and the sword was merely a blur, (A/N I can tell you're likin' this!!) he raised an eyebrow and walked closer to the moving figure to see if his eyes were playing tricks on him. When he got to her she had the sword at his throat, "Whadda ya waaant??" she growled not moving the sword.  
  
The man made a few unintelligible grunts that were supposed to be words, Rean Lee raised her eyebrows questionably and the man left because he didn't know what to say to this unreasonably strong girl. Rean Lee laughed then said, "That's right!! I AM THE QUEEN OF CHAOS!! MUH AH AH AH!!!"  
  
"NO YOU'RE NOT!! I AM!!" Kao yelled having seemingly heard the loud statement, causing everyone look at her and then Rean Lee.  
  
"ME!!" Rean Lee argued back. Kao growled the tried to attack Rean Lee forgetting that she still had a sword and that she was unarmed practically. Rean Lee swung the sword up in a curve and sliced Kao's midriff slightly.  
  
"HEY!! That was uncalled for!!"  
  
"Sorry, it's reflex,"  
  
"I know the feeling, this one time my sister and I were wrestling, and she faked a blow to my head, so I grabbed her arm, then her other arm because she tried to punch me with that one too, and next thing I know I head butted her in the nose. I did that to my friend too one time, heh, I always do that to her, but I don't hit her, hehehehehehehehe."  
  
"Head butting is funny!!" Keita piped in.  
  
"Yeah, but your forehead hurts a long time afterward." Alanna said rubbing her head distractedly.  
  
"YOUR FOREHEAD?!?!!? YOU USE YOUR FOREHEAD?!?!!? IDIOCY!!" Eve yelled suddenly waving her arms.  
  
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!" Alanna yelled angrily her face going red.  
  
"YOU DON'T USE YOUR FOREHEAD!!" Brekke screamed then started laughing uproariously.  
  
"Oh? Then what are you, merely first year learners, going to tell me, the King's Champion?" Alanna smirked.  
  
"Well, that when you head butt somebody you use the baseline of where your hair starts, dumbass," Taigan said easily hardly paying attention to the conversation, "I'm to be a Lady and I know this, I mean, come ON!!"  
  
"Yeah well, where you're from is different now isn't it?" Jonathon said through clenched teeth.  
  
"Yeah, you're right, where we're from a world where women rule and men are our slaves and do as we tell them, a.k.a. women are the dominate gender," Kao snapped.  
  
The men laughed at this, but Kel and Alanna, not seeing what was so funny looked around confusedly. "What's so funny?" they chorused.  
  
"I dunno, but it's gonna stop here," Dyana threatened, "And Alice shut up!!! You're making my head hurt!!"  
  
"Yeah, if you assholes don't shut up, we will be forced to do something that you'll regret later," Katey said hardly keeping Kao under control.  
  
This only made the men laugh harder and tears of laughter fall from their eyes, at this point the girls made a small army and charged at them screaming and flailing their arms wildly and making weird battle cries, that all but made the men laugh all the harder, before they knew what happened, there were fists and kicks being thrown everywhere. They fell back and landed on their asses dumbfounded. Cami was sword fighting with a much larger man and seemingly kicking his ass. Keita's eyes were beginning to glow a slight red shade that made her look very creepy and scary. The battle ended slightly as they noticed the red grew darker and began to grow. Keita's eyes looked like she had burst a blood vessel in her eyes that covered her entire eye except for the pupil (A/N eeesh anyone??). Keita only seemed to snap out of it when she began to float off the ground. "Uhhhh, a little help down please?" she said her eyes no longer red, but floating about 7 feet in the air.  
  
"Heh, what do you mean get down? I'd do anything to be in your place right now!!" Dyana yelled waving her arms excitedly just thinking about floating in the air.  
  
"YEAH!! Why do you want to come down when these sexist bastards are around!!" Kao yelled suddenly then punching a man in the face and breaking his nose.  
  
"Well, I'm not scared of heights or anything but right now the urge to kill is growing." Keita replied glaring at one of the squires.  
  
"Does anybody have a ladder?" Chopstix asked curiously.  
  
"Does it look like we have a ladder?" the man with the blond hair said.  
  
"Well yeah never know, we might've gotten 'curious' one day and stuffed one up you're a-" Taigan snapped before getting cut off.  
  
"Please do not finish that sentence." Eve said looking like she was about to be sick then turning back to a plant she'd found that looked like it might be poisonous. She took three small leaves then put them in a jar, she opened her coat to reveal many other jars filled with various leaves, liquids, and anything that looked poisonous and placed the newly found jar in an unused pocket.  
  
Reaper stood alone in a corner, a dark corner, seemingly concentrating on a certain thought. New thing any of them knew, there was a large metal ladder sitting on the ground in front of them.  
  
"HOLY SHIT!! WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM!!!" Keita yelled still in the air pointing enthusiastically at the ladder that just appeared.  
  
"Well, someone MADE it appear," Numair said looking pale, the looking nervously at Reaper who looked tired yet proud of herself.  
  
"ME!! I DID IT!!" Reaper yelled happily.  
  
"Yes but now someone doesn't have a ladder," Numair replied, "You've disrupted something."  
  
"Oh pish posh, how often do you see a METAL ladder!!" Reaper yelled then started thinking of an airplane before Numair stopped her by throwing a rock at her.  
  
"Don't conjure anything else, for all we know you may cause more of a disruption in the world!"  
  
"But-" Reaper began.  
  
"No, just do not conjure anything unless the need is entirely needful." Numair snapped back still not knowing that considering that the girls were from a different world, what the conjured came from out of their minds and not from the world.  
  
"Hey, but I don't think that it matters," Storms put in having made the logic of the different worlds complete in her mind.  
  
"And why would it be different for nothing but a few GIRLS." The blond said with a sneer as her said 'girls'.  
  
"Well for first thing, these GIRLS, can whip your ass." Kao spat in return.  
  
"I'd like to se you try little GIRL." He said with a laugh.  
  
"Oh I'll *CENSORED* show you all right you stupid *CENSORED* son of a *CENSORED**CENSORD**CENSORED*!!! I'LL *CENSORED* SHOW YOU WHAT A *CENSORED* LITTLE *CENSORED* GIRL CAN *CENSORED* DO TO YOU, YOU *CENSORED* *CENSORED*!!!!! Kao yelled back the censor going wild. The man stared blankly for a while at the red and enraged Kao before backing away slowly as though she were a rabid animal.  
  
"It's okay, just sit down and maybe blink a few times, have a drink of water, perhaps stop glaring at me so," the man coaxed unsuccessfully, "Where did you find her?" he whispered to Raen Lee.  
  
"What do you mean? The line was fabulous!! I swear! The censor will never be the same!!" Raen Lee boosted happily.  
  
"What? You mean that's something to be PROUD of??" the man asked incredulously.  
  
"HELL YEAH!!!" Eve yelled joining the conversation quite abruptly. The two looked at each other then raised their eyebrows and split apart leaving Eve by her lonesome. "Well that was rude," she said dejectedly before turning to go talk with Kao about pointy objects.  
  
The gang of girls went to make a fire and cook marshmallows, you know, the ones that Reaper produced despite Numair's protests.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Meanwhile on Earth, "Hey, where'd the marshmallows go? I could've sworn they were there just a second ago."  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" said one man falling from the roof of his house not noticing his ladder was gone.  
  
"What the hell?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Hey, what about some marshmallow sticks or whatever." Taigan protested.  
  
"Hey, you know, just incase Nummy is right, we shouldn't get any for the time being." Reaper said.  
  
"GUYS I'M STILL STUCK!!!" Keita yelled from her 7 foot high perch.  
  
"Oh yeah," Cami said not moving.  
  
"Hey, um, why don't you guys go help her out." Dyana asked Numair.  
  
"Hey, why me?!" Numair replied.  
  
"I feel so goddamned special right now." Keita said sarcastically rolling her eyes.  
  
"Good, because God loves everyone," Kao said seriously nodding her head solemnly.  
  
"Ooookay, did anyone bring a bible for the nun?" Katey asked.  
  
"You're catholic too you know." Kao snapped back.  
  
"Yeah, what's your point?"  
  
"..I have no idea..."  
  
"...right."  
  
There was an awkward moment of silence, in the background you could hear the crickets chirp and someone cough. "Anyway,"  
  
"Um.." Chopstix said for lack of a better word.  
  
"Yeah.." Taigan put in.  
  
"Ohhhhh, I met a lovely lass, She had lots of class." A voice said from inside the forest.  
  
"OH CRAP!!! QUICK!! SOMEONE GIVE ME THEIR BOW AND ARROW!!" Brekke yelled recognizing the sing-song voice.  
  
"QUICK!! REAPER!! MAKE AN M-16 TO BLOW HIS BRAINS OUT!!" Chopstix begged.  
  
"DO SOMETHING!!!" Keita yelled down a pained expression on her face.  
  
"As the king I ORDER you all to kill the bearer of that voice!!!" Jonathon roared looking horrified. Nobody moved. "Well, at least I know where I stand."  
  
"I have seen the seven seas, Seen a very many tress."  
  
"IT'S HORRIBLE!!!" Brekke yelled raising her hands to her face.  
  
"Where the hell is that M-16??" Raen Lee yelled.  
  
"I don't know what one looks like!!" Reaper yelled horrified.  
  
Suddenly, they heard a distant voice yell, "HEY GUYS WAIT UP!! I FINALLY FOUND MY CUP!!" Just then, Kirkus Nadwack crashed through the bushes, the girls and the king ran for the lake looking terrified and jumped in floundering hopelessly, "SAVE YOURSELVES!!" he yelled over his shoulder sinking beneath the surface of the water. The rest of the meeting people looked at the terrified girls and their floundering king confusedly.  
  
  
  
A/N HAH!! Yet another chapter down! Yaaaar!! Sorry, *slipping out of sailor talk* anyway.that took me forever, then again I'm sure you knew that, and don't worry, Kirkus Nadwack is back for only a few minutes in the story, so please do not hurt me, *fanfic readers probably thinking of ripping me to pieces.* I'm sorry, but than again.I'm not because I want YOU to give me ideas on how you want him to die. MWH AH AH AH AH AH!! Please don't be toooooo morbid, I mean, let's keep this PG-13 please!! 


	15. Camping

A/N haha, damn, wait, why am I laughing?? I nearly had the chapter done then my computer went all *makes a very long line of profanity and the censor goes wild*! All right, whooo, calm, calm, calm, ca- I'LL *CENSORED* CALM *CENSORED* *CENSORED**CENSORED* HOW CAN I *CENSORED* BE *CENSORED* CALM WHEN I *CENSORED* WAS *CENSORED* MAKING THE *CENSORED* CHAPTER AND THE *CENSORED* COMPUTER *CENSORED* UP??? *CENSORED* SON OF A *CENSORED**CENSORED*!!!!!! .Alright, I'm mad, don't blame it on the monitor, do not destroy it, do not destroy it, do not destroy it.don't blame the wall, cats, family members, my sister's boyfriend, wooooo, caaaaaaaaaalm, caaaaaaaaaalm, caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalm.......IT'S *CENSORED* NOT WORKING!!!  
  
  
  
"Guys, I think I'm gonna hurl." Keita complained after spending the night suspended in the air considering the camp's residents laziness.  
  
"SHADDAP!!" a voice yelled angrily throwing a shoe at her.  
  
"Alright, someone look for whoever is missing a shoe and beat them crapless!!" Keita yelled looking slightly green. Next thing she knew there was a rain of shoes hitting her that were thrown from all of the members in the camp, "Bitches, you're all bitches," Keita mumbled angrily.  
  
"RISE AND SHINE MY LITTLE BUTTERFLIES!!" a Shang yelled happily bounding through the bushes obscenely taking deep breaths and smiling disgustingly largely. The Shang had been introduced as Leo the Shang CHINCHILLA, he had a big poofy bright red beard that was tied in some kind of ponytail, ridiculous bright red hair that stuck out at all angles, his eyes were a warm brown and an overly cheerful smile always plastered to his face, and he looked to be about 7 feet, with extremely large muscles. When the girls met him they thought at first that he was a comical character, but soon became as loathed and discriminated as Kirkus Nadwack, whom they all had chased far, far away the night before with pitchforks screaming like savages as he screamed for his life in rhymes.  
  
The whole camp groaned their disapproval at this stupid, overly cheerful, pathetic man and wishing futilely for their shoes that they wasted throwing at Keita. One man began to weep sadly at the thought of having to endure on yet another sad and disgustingly buoyant ordeal with this poor excuse for a fighter.  
  
Kao threw one of her many knives at the man only half-heartedly considering her lack of capability to get up, the Shang Chinchilla responded by looking slightly confused then recovered his nauseating big smile, "Who is up for a nice little JOG?!" he boomed then started breathing loudly and exuberantly audible, breathing in through his nose, out through his mouth, "SNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! SNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!! HAAAAAAAAAA!!! FEEL THE BURN MY LITTLE OPALOOPAS!!!"  
  
"What did he just say?" Brekke asked dubiously looking horrified.  
  
"What is exactly this big and evil force we are to overcome and defeat? Disgustingly cheerful creatures?? We are no match for such horror!!!" Eve yelled dramatically to the night, falling to her knees her head raised to the morning sky.  
  
In the background you could hear one of the men sobbing uncontrollably because of the large man still breathing loudly, "SNNNNNNNNNNN! HAAAAAAAAAA! SNNNNNNNNNNNNN!! HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Will someone shut him up?!?!" Cami screamed throwing a large-sized rock at the man, fortunately it hit him squarely in the forehead, but, he look dazed for a while then looked around confusedly his smile momentarily gone then resumed his loud breathing. (A/N doesn't he remind you of a Viking?) With that the gang of girls jumped up and all charged at the large man angrily screaming war calls, the all stumbled and leapt at the man in blind fury. Leo looked slightly confused then began roaring with laughter as the girls screamed and tried to strangle him. It would have been comical if they all weren't so tired and so angry with this stupid, stupid man.  
  
"AH HA HA HA!! Yes, FIGHT MY LITTLE MUNCHKINS!! FIGHT LIKE YOU'VE NEVER FOUGHT BEFORE!! AH HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAA!!" The stupid, stupid man roared happily laughing heartily (A/N that was a rhyme wasn't it? NO!! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!! *winces as fanfiction readers try to murder me*)  
  
"RIP OUT HIS TONGUE!!" Taigan screamed.  
  
"AH HA HA HA!!! NO THAT'S THE SPIRIT!!!" With that, Kao screamed and unsheathed another of her many knives and stabbed the man in one of his large legs. He began to roar in pain and started jumping on his uninjured leg screaming.  
  
"IT'S NOT EVEN THAT BAD YOU BIG BABY!!" Chopstix yelled angrily as the man fell to the ground and started bawling his eyes out.  
  
"UGHHHHHHHHHHH!!' Raen Lee screamed in fury reaching for the nearest person's sword. Fortunately, at least, for the rest of the people, there was no one near her with a sword. Instead, she waved her arms and screamed as loud as she could and ran up a tree.  
  
"Get up you baby!" Dyana said kicking Leo in the gut lightly.  
  
"That's it, out of the way!" the Duke Baird yelled shoving his way through the people toward the crying Shang CHINCHILLA. The Duke Baird was red in the face and within moments Leo's leg was fine and everyone was thankful, if not for the king, they'd've killed him  
  
"Now, now, I'm sure that the blade was infected and really was causing the Shang Chinchilla severe pain," everyone rolled their eyes but backed off so they could go back to bed. First they claimed their shoes and Keita spat at them making their job even more difficult.  
  
"AHHH! SPIDER!!" The Shang Chinchilla yelled screaming like a little girl, pointing at a spider sitting on a tree. Everyone rolled their eyes, Leo continued to scream until Kao got mad and walked up, then smashed the spider with her hand, then looking at the mess on her hand, she wiped it on Leo's tunic. Kao walked back to her bedroll and flopped down, snoring within a couple of moments.  
  
"I'M STILL STUCK!!" Keita yelled as everyone dozed off and the Chinchilla ran away sobbing pathetically. 


	16. AN 2, ugh, i hate this

A/N yeeah, I am very sorry about all this, I'm bein' horrible about updating as of late, the reason: computer=busted, I'm writing this at school, believe me, I am sorry. Okay, teacher's probably gonna come around soon, so I g2g, bahhhh, very sorry, I WILL update soon, I PROMISE!!! And it'll be long as hell! It's on paper, I'll have it done once I can stay after school or something.I guess.. 


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